A Christmas Story
Release: November 18, 1983

Cleveland, Ohio in the 1940's. What does every young boy want? You can safely assume it's not a video game system. No, it's a Red Rider BB Gun, the preferred weapon of every wild west imaginary hero. And Ralphie is no different than any other boy. But while his head is in the clouds thinking about how he can convince his mother to let him have one, he runs into life's little hurdles like a mean redheaded bully with yellow eyes.

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Narrator: "That Christmas would live on as the first Christmas we were introduced to Chinese turkey, and all was right with the world."
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Narrator: "Oh, my God! I shot my eye out!"
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Narrator: "The Heavenly aroma still hung heavily through the house. But it was gone! All gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches, no turkey salad, no turkey gravy, turkey hash, turkey a-la king, no gallons of turkey soup! It was gone! All gone!"
Mr. Parker: "Alright. Everybody upstairs, get dressed! We are going out to eat!"
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Mall Santa: "Okay, get him out of here!"
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Numerous Charcaters: "You'll shoot your eye out!"
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Narrator: "Over the years I came to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference is for Lux but I found Palmolive had a nice pique of after-dinner flavor. Heady but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. Lifebuoy on the other hand..."
Ralphie: "Yuck!"
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Ralphie: "(slowly)Oh fudge."
Narrator: "Except I didn't say "fudge". I said THE word! The big one! The mother of dirty words! The F-dash-dash-dash word!"
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Chinese Waiters: "Deck the hars with boughs of horry, fa-ra-ra-ra-ra, ra-ra-ra-ra. Tis the season to be jorry, fa-ra-ra--"
Head Chef: "Stop, stop stop! Sing something else!"
Chinese waiters: "Jingre berrs, jingre berrs, jingre arr the way..."
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Mr. Parker: "Fra-gil-e! Oh, it must be Italian!"
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Mr. Parker: "Dadgummit! Blowout!"
waiters in restraunt: "tis the season to be horry ra ra ra ra ra rara ra!"
Mr. Parker: "Serves you right, you smell buggers!"
Autistic boy with goggles in the line for Santa: "I like the Wizard of Oz... I like the Tin Man."
Mr. Parker: "He's a pink nightmare!"
Old Man (Mr. Parker): "Shut up, Ralphie! -Old Man (Mr. Parker)"
Numerous characters: "You'll shoot your eye out! -Numerous characters"
The Mall Santa: "Ho ho ho!"
Adult Ralphie: "In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan. -Adult Ralphie"
Old Man: "You used up all the glue on purpose. -Old Man"
Adult ralphie, Mother, Ralphie: "Mother: Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas? Adult Ralphie: Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out. Ralphie: I want an offical Red Rider carbine action two hundred shot range model air rifle. -Adult ralphie, Mother, Ralphie"
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