"That Christmas would live on as the first Christmas we were introduced to Chinese turkey, and all was right with the world."
"Oh, my God! I shot my eye out!"
"The Heavenly aroma still hung heavily through the house. But it was gone! All gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches, no turkey salad, no turkey gravy, turkey hash, turkey a-la king, no gallons of turkey soup! It was gone! All gone!"
"Alright. Everybody upstairs, get dressed! We are going out to eat!"
"Okay, get him out of here!"
"You'll shoot your eye out!"
"Over the years I came to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference is for Lux but I found Palmolive had a nice pique of after-dinner flavor. Heady but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. Lifebuoy on the other hand..."
"Except I didn't say "fudge". I said THE word! The big one! The mother of dirty words! The F-dash-dash-dash word!"
"Deck the hars with boughs of horry, fa-ra-ra-ra-ra, ra-ra-ra-ra. Tis the season to be jorry, fa-ra-ra--"
"Stop, stop stop! Sing something else!"
"Jingre berrs, jingre berrs, jingre arr the way..."
"Fra-gil-e! Oh, it must be Italian!"
waiters in restraunt:
"tis the season to be horry ra ra ra ra ra rara ra!"
"Serves you right, you smell buggers!"
Autistic boy with goggles in the line for Santa:
"I like the Wizard of Oz... I like the Tin Man."
"He's a pink nightmare!"
Old Man (Mr. Parker):
"Shut up, Ralphie!
-Old Man (Mr. Parker)"
"You'll shoot your eye out!
The Mall Santa:
"Ho ho ho!"
"In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.
"You used up all the glue on purpose.
Adult ralphie, Mother, Ralphie:
"Mother: Ralphie, what would you like for Christmas?
Adult Ralphie: Horrified, I heard myself blurt it out.
Ralphie: I want an offical Red Rider carbine action two hundred shot range model air rifle.
-Adult ralphie, Mother, Ralphie"