Gas Station Attendant Stanley Stupid:
"'Sir, did you know there's a hole in your gas tank.' 'That's how you get the gas in there.'
-Gas Station Attendant Stanley Stupid"
"'If you still love me, Sally, tie a ribbon 'round the old oak tree'. I'm afraid the only thing that's going to be hanging from that tree is you, Bob!
"Now that's a well-made shoe.
"Oh dear I left the garbage out over night.
Stanley and Buster Stupid:
"S: Be on the look out for anything suspicious. B: Dad, they're putting make-up on men in there. S: Bull's eye.
-Stanley and Buster Stupid"
"No time to talk, I'm afraid. I'm taking over the heads of a dozen foreign countries.
Late Night Show Host:
"Host: [reading off a "cue card"] Give it up to the Fat Guy!
-Late Night Show Host"
Chinese Waiter #2:
"It's not our battle to fight, Johnson. We have enough trouble getting soy sauce into these tiny packets!
-Chinese Waiter #2"
"Oh my God, it's true. The police have kidnapped my children!
"If my wife is my grandmother than I am her grandchild And every time I think of this it nearly drives me wild.
"As your president of Stupidia, I appoint Stanley Stupid head of the army.
"What are you doing you darn bee? Can't you see I'm trying to drive? OH MY GOD, THE DRIVE BEE.
Buster Petunia and Joan:
"What if we formed our own army?' ' Then we'd have to form our own country.' 'We could call it Stupidia.
-Buster Petunia and Joan"
"Some people can be so inconsiderate!
"Who is this Sender and what is he doing with other people's mail?
Stanley Stupid and Lloyd:
"Stanley: Hail to thee, Oh Lord.
Lloyd: Actually, it's pronounced 'Lloyd'.
-Stanley Stupid and Lloyd"
"Remember: throw your gum in the trash after you get done chewing it. I spend a huge amount of my time cleaning up gum.
"That's a well-made shoe!
"(Lifts the toilet lid.) MOM!
"IN THE NAME OF LLOYD!!!!