Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"[to Keiichirou] Hey, what do you want tonight? Lean Cuisine or dumplings?"
Amanojaku:
"Dumplings?"
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"You're gonna get Meow Mix."
Gramps:
"When this bitch kicks, I'm movin' to Vegas."
Momoko Koigakubo:
"HaveyouacceptedJesusasyourpersonalsaviour?"
Leo Kakinoki:
"No, I'm Jewish."
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"That's it? He's clean and then he gets hit by a truck? Where was God?
-Episode 10"
Hajime Aoyama:
"Drop the Krispy Kremes, Serpico! We need your help here!"
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"The-people-in-my-house-look-like-my-father-and-my-brother-after-an-Eyemasters-exam-but-it's-not-them!"
Hajime Aoyama:
"Yeah-boogita-didggitda-googity-dig-dig-dig-tikikiti! [Subtitled as: They're imposters! They wear glasses, but they don't have eyes!]"
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"[trying to capture the Bathroom Ghost and save Hajime] Is this right?"
Momoko Koigakubo:
"It's fine!"
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"I don't know. I kinda failed art. Maybe I should shade it in, add some cherry blossoms..."
Momoko Koigakubo:
"JUST DO IT!"
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"[It's the end of the day] But we were only in there for twenty minutes!
[Approximate running time of the episode up to that point]"
Keiichirou Miyanoshita:
"[Momoko, posessed by Satsuki's mother, has just collasped and turned back into herself] Wow, she must've been tired."
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"Momoko! Is that you?"
Momoko Koigakubo:
"Huh? Where am I?"
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"Heaven. Get Up."
Hajime Aoyama:
"Aww quit making fun of the Christian. We've got to save Leo!"
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"Gotta go! Move it Haji!
[They run off]"
Keiichirou Miyanoshita:
"That was freaky."
Momoko Koigakubo:
"What?"
Keiichirou Miyanoshita:
"You sounded like mom. I didn't know you did impressions."
Momoko Koigakubo:
"What are you talking about? Oh my goodness, do I need to get back on my medications? Tell me, are my eyes red?"
Keiichirou Miyanoshita:
"Hmm..."
Phone Recording:
"[Satsuki attempts to call the Ski Lodge] The number you have dialed is no longer in service. HEY! MAYBE IF THEY PAID THEIR FUCKING PHONE BILL YOU COULD CALL AGAIN!"
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"Asian trash, can't pay the phone bill."
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"[Alone clutching a doll] Looks like it's just you and me, Raggedy-Ann. [Doing ventriloquism] Call Me Barbie. Okay, Barbie... I'm going fuckin' crazy."
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"Why on earth did we decide to hole up in the old Schoolhouse? Why? WHY?"
Hajime Aoyama:
"'Cause the mall was closed? I don't know."
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"We passed up REI, we passed up Oshman's, we passed Neiman's for Christ's sake! YOU'RE... AN... IDIOT!"
Kakinomoto, Reo:
"They trade places with people's reflections, and walk the streets at night."
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"Kinda like Thriller. A fat Thriller."
Hajime Aoyama:
"My BS detector is going "DING"!"
Momoko Koigakubo:
"Sweet Jesus, that was scary!"
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"Moshi moshi? I mean… Hello. I'm sorry to call you at this hour. Can I speak to Tamomi?"
Woman:
"Tamomi? Ain't no Tamomi girl here living here, so what?. Get your crack head ass head into some rehab, I aint got time for this bull…"
Satsuki:
"[He drops the phone in shock] Mother F-[bleep]."
Hajime Aoyama:
"I'm going to beat your ass!"
Leo Kakinoki:
"You sure are talking about my butt a lot lately."
Hajime Aoyama:
"Holy crack addicts, it hit the gym!"
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"[after realizing they've traveled back in time] HOLY TIME MACHINE BATMAN! It's 1973!"
Hajime Aoyama:
"Holy pre-Parkinson's Michael J. Fox Christopher Lloyd Back To The Future plot ripoff device! Where's my Delorean?"
Satsuki Miyanoshita:
"Pre-Parkinson's? You are so shockingly hateful."
Hajime Aoyama:
"I don't feel sorry for him, he was in "Light Of Day".
[Shudders]"
Keiichirou Miyanoshita:
"I'm gonna make a SnowMan and a SnowWoman, and maybe even a little Snow Keiichirou! but I guess i'll have to make the SnowWoman dead, because mom's dead."
Momoko Koigakubo:
"Oh my, what a gifted Seamstress! I hope you're not a homosexual."