National Lampoon's Vacation
Release: July 29, 1983

The Griswold family, father Clark W., wife Ellen, daughter Audrey and son Rusty, set out in high spirit to spend their vacation driving cross-country from Chicago to a glorious climax in Walley World on the West Coast. The trip which Clark planned down to the minute, slowly loses its smoothness from the moment the first grain of sand gets in. A meeting with constantly-in-debt, simple-minded cousin Eddie results in the Griswold family giving cantankerous aunt Edna a lift to Phoenix. Of course, the Griswolds receive one strike of bad luck after another, and when they finally arrive at Walley World, they have to find out that the park is closed for maintenance. But Clark promised his beloved family the best vacation ever...

Marty Moose: "Sorry folks we're closed for 2 weeks to clean and repair America's favorite family fun park. SORRY! HUU HUU HUU!"
Added By: funguy10
Clark: "I'm just trying to treat my family to a little fun."
Ellen: "Oh spare me, Clark, I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us 1000 miles out of the way to see the world's largest pile of mud!"
Added By: Caps_2-0
Clark:: "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes! I must be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit"
Rusty:: "Dad, you want an Asprin?"
Clark:: "Don't touch!"
Added By: Caps_2-0
Clark: "Exscuse me Sir? Can you tell us how to get back to the freeway?"
Street thug: "F*@#% Yo Mamma!"
Clark: "Thank You Very Much."
Rusty: "Wow, dad you must have dropped this thing by 50 yards...."
Clark: "I don't think that was possible, Russ *Clark looks around and mumbles to himself*"
Clark: "50 yards....huh."
Ellen: "[After the crash in Arizona...] I think I broke my nose"
Rusty: "I stabbed my brain."
Audrey: "I just got my period."
ellen and Audrey: "Ellen: Hope you learned an important lesson here kids. Audrey: Yeah don't die unless somebody's home. -ellen and Audrey"
Aunt Edna: "Well am I gonna eat or am I gonna starve to death? -Aunt Edna"
Police Officer: "Poor little fella, after the first ten miles or so he tried to keep up with ya, but after that....(shrugs) -Police Officer"
John Candy as the security guard: "Sorry folks, parks closed....the moose out front should have told ya. -John Candy as the security guard"
aunt Edna & Ellen: "Aunt Edna: You are the ones that sent me that fruit cake for Christmas. It made me so sick. Ellen: Were sorry we thought you enjoyed fruit cake. Aunt Edna: You enjoy throwing up every five minutes Claude? -aunt Edna & Ellen"
Clark, Rusty and Audry: "When I said where do you wanna go on vacation, where did you say? Rusty? Rusty: Hawaii? Clark: Shut up Rus, Audry? Audry: Walley World Dad? Clark: Walley World Dad! -Clark, Rusty and Audry"
Clark: "When I was a boy, just about every summer we'd take a vacation. And you know, in 18 years, we never had fun. -Clark"
Ellen: "They're all wet... Oh God!... The dog wet on the picnic basket. -Ellen"
Ellen: "Find a bush, Audrey! -Ellen"
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