Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Quotes
"Russ, were suppose to go fishing!"
"Yeah Right, are you going as bait?"
"What a witch!"
[slides down]
Big Russ Thompson:
"Eighty buck Mae, non refundable,those kids are grounded!"
"Go Inside Quark and find Dad!"
Wayne: "GET OFF THE GRASS! Get off the grass!"
Wayne: "It's very delicate; the lawn. You don't want to over-water, really..."
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: I just figured it out, I woke up this morning and this is all a bad dream.
Amy Szalinski: Ron, get up.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: You're just a nightmare. When I wake up this morning my dad and I'll be going fishing.
Amy Szalinski: I'm warning you.
[hums with his eyes closed]
Amy Szalinski: Okay Ron, maybe you're right. Maybe this is all just a bad dream. But, if it is...
[grabs his ears - hard]
Amy Szalinski: ...would this hurt? Get up!
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: They're never gonna find us! We were right under their noses and they didn't even see us!
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Don't panic, Ron. We'll - we'll find a way.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: I'm not panicking.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Who's panicked? Nobody's panicked!
Wayne Szalinski: And given that my machine can substantially reduce the size of bulky payloads... And fuel supplies of the savings to the space program would be staggering.
Professor Frederickson: Mr. Szalinski, are you trying to tell me that suddenly size is no longer relative?
Wayne Szalinski: Well, that's right, Professor Frederickson, and that all matter is made up of not only density but of empty space, and if we can proportionally reduce the amount of empty space in any given object, we can, thereby, shrink the object.
Professor Frederickson: Uh-huh. Where's your proof?
Wayne Szalinski: When Einstein came up with the atomic bomb, did they ask him to prove that it worked?
Professor Frederickson: You, Mr. Szalinski, are hardly Einstein.
[the audience laughs]
Wayne Szalinski: I picked a name.
Professor Frederickson: You have, however, managed to shrink one thing: the size of the audience.
[stands up]
Professor Frederickson: Gentlemen, ladies, I don't know about you, but I'm going to lunch.
[leaves along with the rest]
Mae Thompson: Did you tell him the truth?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Honey...
Mae Thompson: Did they take it okay?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Mae...
[Don honks the horn in 'goodbye' and drives off]
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: [furiously] 80 bucks, Mae! NON-refundable! Those kids are GROUNDED!
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Don, hook a big on for me, okay?
[he puts his hand on Don's shoulder which takes off a fish hook accessory off the lifejacket until Russ, Sr. leaves]
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Don?
[Russ, Sr. does the fish with his hand as Don does the same]
Donald 'Don' Forrester: Let's roll, Gloria. Come on, get in.
Gloria Forrester: What's wrong with him?
Donald 'Don' Forrester: Come on.
[Don then sees Wayne flying]
Donald 'Don' Forrester: Mm-hmm.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: [knowing about his kids missing] Don, uh, something's come up. I don't think we're gonna be able to make it. Maybe you better go on ahead.
Donald 'Don' Forrester: What - what do you mean you don't think you'll be able to make it? We're caravanning, good buddy.
Gloria Forrester: [about Wayne flying] Donald, I am telling...
Donald 'Don' Forrester: Not now, Gloria!
[to Russ, Sr]
Donald 'Don' Forrester: And besides, if you're not there by 6:00, you'll lose your deposit.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Confidentially... Mae hasn't been feeling to well - plumbing.
Donald 'Don' Forrester: Plumbing? This isn't the Big Russ Thompson I know. Plumbing would not stop the Big Russ Thompson I know. Especially with an $80 deposit on the line?
[after Wayne and Diane stop Tommy with the lawnmower]
Tommy Pervis: [innocently] Nick said I could cut it, I swear!
Wayne Szalinski: When did you see Nick?
Diane Szalinski: Did you see him this morning?
Tommy Pervis: No it was yesterday. Really, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so late.
Diane Szalinski: [calmly] It's okay, sweetie. It's okay. Why don't you back through our house, it's safer.
Tommy Pervis: [concerned] 'Safer'?
[Tommy stares at Wayne and Diane looking through the cut grass for the kids]
Tommy Pervis: [to himself] I thought MY folks were weird.
[after being saved from her drowning demise]
Amy Szalinski: Ugh, mud is still mud, no matter how small you are. I can't believe that some stores actually charge for this stuff.
Amy Szalinski: Good night, Russ.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Good night, Amy.
Nick Szalinski, Ron Thompson: [pause, then mockingly] Good night, Amy!
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Hey, Szalinski, your lawn's beginning to look like the Amazon.
Wayne Szalinski: Yeah, producing oxygen, Russ. We all have to do our part. You know how all the jungles are receding everywhere?
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: [the ground starts shaking] EARTHQUAKE!
Nick Szalinski: No, worse... LAWNMOWER!
[the Szalinskis and the Thompsons sit down to dinner with a super-enlarged turkey]
Wayne Szalinski: Well, I guess we gotta carve this thing, huh?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Oh, want to use my chainsaw?
Wayne Szalinski: Don't worry about them, they've got the Thompson kids with them. They'll be fine.
Diane Szalinski: That's another thing I'm worried about: Amy. In the dark. With Little Russ Thompson.
Wayne Szalinski: Get some rest.
Diane Szalinski: They'd better behave themselves.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: So, you like to dance huh?
Amy Szalinski: How do you know?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Well...
Amy Szalinski: You could see me?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: No, no. Yeah, I could, but I wasn't watching you, I...
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: They're never going to believe this at school.
Nick Szalinski: Yeah, I can just see the note to the teacher: "Dear Miss Mason, Nick isn't absent. He's pinned to this note".