"I’m a foul actually!
"Hey, Virg. How come you can't fly?"
"I learned to read instead."
"Watch out, Bea! There are…"
"3 eerie-looking things in black robes behind me?"
"Yeah. How'd you know?"
"How about Norman? I really have a good feeling about him."
"I eat aliens for breakfast!"
"Ha. You see: They're even on his diet."
"Who are you? And why are you dripping slime on the floor?
"This squid is really losing his temper! And I'm losing my lunch!
"Don't I get to make my one phone call? My mom'll be worried if I don't call and let her know I'm in jail!
"Why are we still running?"
"Come on, Virg. The only dinosaur living in Hawaii is big and purple and sings on TV.
Max and Bea:
"Max: You can't fly the plane.
Bea: Why? Because I'm a girl?
Max: Because you don't know how.
Bea: Yes I do. My mother taught me.
-Max and Bea"
"Good means of summoning, Virgil. Why didn't you spell it out in pepperoni?"
"I wanted to make sure you read it before you ate it."
"Whoa, a CD! No title? Just my luck, it might be the Village People.
Max and random men:
"Max: What are we facing this time? A beast? A monster? A demon?
Man #1: It's a beast!
Man #2: It's a monster!
Man #3: It's a demon!
Max: Ha! Ace Ventura always gets it!
-Max and random men"
Max and Guy in chicken suit:
"Max: Oh well. What would you expect from a fowl?
Man in Chicken Suit: Hey! I'm a chicken, actually!
-Max and Guy in chicken suit"
Max and Virgil:
"Max: My mentor is an over-sized chicken?
Virgil: I'm a fowl, actually.
-Max and Virgil"
Spike and Norman:
"Spike: [while being dangled over a cliff by Norman] You can't kill me! If you do, you'll be no better than me!
Norman: [drops him] I can live with that.
-Spike and Norman"
Virgil and Max:
"Virgil: Max, my boy. You are earth's only hope!
Max: You know, I knew you were going to say that. Come on man. What about the air force, or the U.N.? Arnold Schwarzenegger? I mean we don't want to hog all the glory for ourselves.
-Virgil and Max"
Max and Norman:
"[Max and Norman enter a room with several solid stone slabs as furniture]
Max: Yeesh, what is this place?
Norman: My room, Mighty One
Max: Ah. Remind me never to have a pillow fight with you, Norman.
-Max and Norman"
Max and Zygote:
"[Zygote faces his T-Rex against Max's devolved pet iguana, Thor]
Prof. Zygote: My dinosaur can beat your dinosaur!
Max: Oh, now we're REALLY mature.
-Max and Zygote"