"A roger, a love wand, joy stick, dong, zipper lizard, tally whacker, trouser snake, schlong!"
"(about the disgusting pizza Richie is preparing) This is disgusting! You better clean this mess up before mom gets home."
"I don't have to."
"I am telling you, I don't want to listen to her yell at you. You are an unbelievable pig!"
"I'm rubber your glue whatever you call me sticks back on you."
"No! I'm rubber YOUR glue whatever YOU call me sticks back on YOU!"
"You think you're hot stuff because you went to a dance. Dream on! No one wants do date you because you are a dog! A dog! A dog!
(after he says this, Louise turns Richie turns into a dog)"
"I took the liberty of ironing your homework."
"Nobody's comin' to your sweet sixteen party Louise."
"Where are all your chairs?"
"The leads are Brad and... Kiki, Duncan will play the King, and Louise will be the assistant costume mistress!"
"Look at how funky he is!"
"I'm hot... and you're not... but if you want to get with me I'll give it one shot, TOP THAT!"