Police Officer with Gun:
"[to Gord standing on the bar] GET OFF OF THAT FUCKING BAR, ASSHOLE!!!"
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Jim:
"If this was Pakistan, you'd be sewing soccer balls."
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Jim:
"What are you looking at... bitch?"
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Doctor:
"You did not save the day!"
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Psychiatrist:
"Mister Brody, this is very serious. Base on what I have heard today, I am required bylaw to notify the authorities."
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Gord:
"Ahhh... Freddy. Freddy."
Freddy Brody:
"Is that um..."
Jim:
"Thats your big brother. He couldn't handle the complexities of making a cheese sandwich so now he's back here at home with us... jeez, is that idiot still in the shower? Shit. How much water is he gonna use?"
Freddy Brody:
"How much is he gonna use? All of it? Save some for the fish or something. Right pop? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha."
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Gord Brody:
"This is "Little Timmy". He gets us food and stuff. Right, little timmy?"
Jim:
"What the fuck is going on Gord? Why aren't you at your new job?"
Gord Brody:
"What are you talking about Timmy?"
Jim:
"Gord... Jesus. There ain't no big computer job... is there? You're just gallavantin' around in my suit pretending to be some kind of mover 'n shaker aren't you?"
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Gord Brody:
"I'm looking for a David Davidson."
Woman:
"I'm a woman."
Gord Brody:
"Did I ask what sex you are?"
Woman:
"No."
Gord Brody:
"Did I ask if you were David Davidson?"
Woman:
"My name is Cheryl."
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Andy Malloy:
"Can I really have a piece of cake, Daddy?"
Mr. Malloy:
"Sure you can, son. It's your birthday!"
Andy Malloy:
"Yea!"
Mr. Malloy:
"Yea!"
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Harry:
"You hear the funny sound? You hear the funny sound? It's my hooves. It's my hooves."
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Gord Brody:
"I see the problem here. There's a baby in your body."
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Jim:
"Where the fuck is the water?"
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Jim:
"Get out of the toilet!"
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Jim:
"[after Darren breaks his leg skateboarding in the middle of night, screaming at the top of his lungs] You little shit, you think that's funny? I gotta go to work tommorrow, get the hell of my property!"
Gord Brody:
"[Jim throws the skateboard on Darren's broken leg] Dad, what the fuck, he hurt his leg!"
Jim:
"Why's everybody screaming like a banshee? [notices Darren's exposed bone on his leg] Jesus Christ. [to Gord] Well, get him a job! I mean, get him an ambulance, you get a job! [Gord licks Darren's bone, Jim slaps Gord] Stop that, what the hell do you think you're doing?"
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Gord Brody:
"Japan Four."
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Gord Brody:
"Fuck you, dad."
Jim:
"Fuck me? Is that what you wanna do? [Jim drops his pants] Well, go ahead, FUCK ME."
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Jim:
"He said 'Fuck you, dad'. So I said 'Fuck you, fuck me. Fuck you, fuck me"... and I NEVER FINGERED FREDDY. [Andy Malloy looks at Jim while playing catch and gets hit in mouth with baseball, cries]"
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Betty:
"But Gord, I don't care about jewels, I just want to suck your cock."
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Gord Brody:
"Ding dong! I'm a sexy boy!"
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Jim:
"You want Daddy to give you a spanking in front of his retard slut whore?"
Betty:
"I'M NOT RETARDED!"
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