The Pink Panther
Release: January 01, 1963

The first "Pink Panther" film introduces us to the bumbling Inspector Jacques Clouseau (Peter Sellers) who is investigating the theft of the infamous "Pink Panther" diamond.

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Sir Charles Lytton: "The majority of women, they have half a glass too much and let down the barriers a little. And they wake up in the morning, riddled with guilt and think they can reclaim their virtue by saying ''l don't remember.''"
Princess Dala: "Are you saying my virtue is not intact?"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Simone Clouseau: "Jacques would make a wonderful father. He has many redeeming qualities, you know."
Sir Charles Lytton: "Name one."
Simone Clouseau: "Oh, he's kind, loyal, faithful, obedient."
Sir Charles Lytton: "You're either married to a Boy Scout or a dachshund."
Simone Clouseau: "And he adores me."
Sir Charles Lytton: "That eliminates the Boy Scouts."
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Sir Charles Lytton: "You're not concerned about what happened, you're worried about what might have happened. And that makes you vulnerable. That makes you a woman."
Princess Dala: "You're an arrogant fool."
Sir Charles Lytton: "Perhaps l am. But after what l just said, a real woman would have slapped my face. [Princess starts to slap Sir Charles, but, laughs instead]"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Princess Dala: "lf you had known my father, you would understand me. He was an absolute ruler. He governed his people with an iron hand. But he gave me a white pony for my fifth birthday. He was wrong about many things, but he made his decisions according to the ways of his predecessors. l learned the way of the West, so l've become a little of both, a paradox. And it is hard to reconcile the extremes."
Sir Charles Lytton: "Have a glass of champagne. Does wonders for extremes. lt's been known to launch some lasting friendships. Don't you trust me?"
Princess Dala: "No."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Princess Dala: "l'm plastered. If that's the right expression."
Sir Charles Lytton: "Yes, that's the right expression."
Princess Dala: "You're a fraud and a liar. And you think you are going to take advantage of me."
Sir Charles Lytton: "Oh, no. You think l am."
Princess Dala: "l know you are. That's the plan, isn't it? Feed me champagne, break down the inhibitions, and tally-ho! No more Virgin Queen."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Sir Charles Lytton: "You have presented the press with a rather definite image."
Princess Dala: "Yes, l know."
Sir Charles Lytton: "Well, are you?"
Princess Dala: "What?"
Sir Charles Lytton: "What they call you? The Virgin Queen?"
Princess Dala: "l'm not a queen."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Princess Dala: "You didn't tell me the truth."
Sir Charles Lytton: "About what?"
Princess Dala: "About champagne! About this. Oh, boy, did you fib. You said - something about extremes."
Sir Charles Lytton: "lt does wonders for them."
Princess Dala: "lt does more than that. lt makes your lips numb. Ah, l can't feel them. Are they still there?"
Sir Charles Lytton: "Let's have a look."
Princess Dala: "You didn't tell me about that part. [kiss] Won't do you any good. l can't feel it!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Princess Dala: "l hadn't realized it was so late."
Sir Charles Lytton: "Come in, sit down, relax. Have a nice glass of champagne."
Princess Dala: "l told you, l don't drink."
Sir Charles Lytton: "Oh, champagne's not drinking. lt's the minimum of alcohol and the maximum of companionship."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "ln a strange way, you know, one has to admire this man, he's, eh, how would you say? a unique flair for the dramatic. He actually waved goodbye to me."
Hotel Manager: "Fascinating."
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "But this time, gentlemen, l shall be waving goodbye to him - on his way to prison."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Princess Dala: "Sort of a contemporary Don Juan."
Monica Fawn: "That's it."
Felix Townes: "Ah, there's a difference! Charles predecessor was forced to climb balconies and fight duels, and, as l understand it, to keep his women separate and apart. Now, Charles, on the other hand, drives a Ferrari, enters with a key, and resorts to collective bargaining."
Angela Dunning: "Oh-ohh!"
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "lf my little pigeon wants a glass of milk, she shall have one!"
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Sir Charles Lytton: "Aren't you drinking?"
Princess Dala: "l don't drink."
Sir Charles Lytton: "Not ever?"
Princess Dala: "l'm quite content with reality. l have no need for escape."
Sir Charles Lytton: "Well, l enjoy reality as much as the next man. lt's just that in my case, fortunately, reality includes a good stiff belt every now and then. On the other hand, l don't smoke."
Princess Dala: "You're right. lt's a nasty habit."
Sir Charles Lytton: "Here's to all those nasty little habits that we hold so dear."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Princess Dala: "l've read about some of his parties."
Monica Fawn: "They're wonderful! We call him the Juggler. l've never really known a man like him. He can keep ten girls in the air at once and make each one happy."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "Hello, old bean. Your company insures the Pink Panther."
Tucker: "Yes, for half a million."
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "Pounds?"
Tucker: "Sterling."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Woman: "I've never really known another man like him. He can keep ten girls in the air at once and make each one happy."
Princess Dala: "Amazing, sort of a contemporary Don Juan?"
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Title card: "[first title card] Once upon a time"
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "What kind of candle is zis?"
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George Lytton: "You've been avoiding me."
Simone Clouseau: "That about describes it."
George Lytton: "You know what l've been thinking?"
Simone Clouseau: "Yes. That's why l've been avoiding you."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Tucker: "Your Highness, if I were the Phantom, I'd have chosen my victim already."
Princess Dala: "Really? And who would that be?"
Tucker: "Well, who owns the most fabulous diamond in the world?"
Princess Dala: "I suppose I do."
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "Exactly. The Pink Panther. Such a prize he could never resist. He would be bound to try for it."
Princess Dala: "I'm afraid he'd be disappointed. The Pink Panther is in my safe, at..."
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "[interrupting] Your Highness, please. Don't say it, not here."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "I am willing to bet you ten thousand francs, that the phantom is in Cortina at this very moment. Even, perhaps, in this very room."
Simone Clouseau: "How exciting. What do you think, Mr. Tucker?"
Tucker: "Oh, I agree with the inspector. You see, Ten of his last fifteen victims have been guests at Angela Dunning's parties."
Sir Charles Lytton: "What are we all talking about?"
Simone Clouseau: "The notorious Phantom."
Princess Dala: "I'm afraid I never heard of him."
Sir Charles Lytton: "From the little I've read about him, he seems to be quite a fellow."
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "Believe me. There are few thieves who are as clever as the Phantom. Each theft is completely different and unique, classic in its conception."
George Lytton: "I thought you were working on the theory that he does repeat himself."
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: "Well, only as far as Angela Dunning's parties are concerned. However, there is one other duplication, but that is his ah... trademark, his calling card, so to speak. He always leaves a white monogrammed glove."
Princess Dala: "Sounds terribly theatrical."
Added By: Clint_Olson
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