Goofy:
"[at concert] Let's get you on stage!"
Max:
"Maybe this isn't such a good idea. [a pair of *very* attractive dancers walk past] Hmmm, then again..."
Max:
"[writing] Dear Roxanne, couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd drop you a line. My dad and I are having a great time. We're only days away from L.A., and I can hardly wait for the big concert!"
Goofy:
"[in his sleep] More "Hi, Dad" soup, please?"
Max:
"[writing] Dear Roxanne, sorry I lied, I'm not really going to the Powerline concert. You may never want to see me again... [speaking] Oh, man! I'm dead no matter what I do!"
Goofy:
"I saved the best for last. It's been handed down from Goof to Goof to Goof, and now, it's yours, son."
Max:
"A stick?"
Goofy:
"No, silly. A fishing pole!"
Max:
"Fishing? We're going fishing?"
Goofy:
"Yup. Just like my dad and me did - two best buddies fishing on Lake Destiny *away from it all*!"
Max:
"I don't want to be *away from it all*, Dad, I like *it all*."
Goofy:
"Look, Maxie. We're using the same map me and my dad used. We'll take the same route, make the same stops, see the same sights."
Max:
"But that trip will take weeks, Dad!"
Goofy:
"Exactly! Getting there is half the fun!"
Max:
"Put the map away, Dad. It's not gonna happen."
Goofy:
"Careful, son! You'll ruin my past... and our future. What the map says... we will follow."
Max:
"That's very mystical and everything, Dad, but there's seriously this party I have to..."
Goofy:
"Oh, there will be plenty of time for parties when you're older, Maxie. Why, when I was your age, I'd never even been invited to a party. Look at me now!"
Max:
"Great, Dad."
Pete:
"[Goofy and Pete settle into a hot tub at a motel] So, uh, you and your son seem to be getting along just hunky-dorey, huh?"
Goofy:
"Yeah, it's been great. You know, it's funny, but none of your techniques worked for me. The harder I tried the worse it got. Once I eased up, things just clicked."
Pete:
"Oh, that's swell. So, uh, no problems then, huh?"
Goofy:
"Not a one."
Pete:
"[sighs] I... I just hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, uh..."
Goofy:
"What is it, Pete?"
Pete:
"Your kid's dupin' ya."
Goofy:
"What do you mean?"
Pete:
"Well, I heard the little mutant telling PJ that he changed the map so... you're headin' straight to L.A., pal."
Goofy:
"[shocked] What?"
Pete:
"Oh, you tried, Goof. He's just a bad kid, that's all."
Goofy:
"I don't believe you."
Pete:
"What?"
Goofy:
"I don't believe you, Pete."
Pete:
"Well, hey, don't take my word for it. Check your map."
Goofy:
"I don't need to check the map. I trust my son. [Goofy climbs out of the tub] You know, maybe Max isn't all the things that you think a son should be, but... he loves me."
Pete:
"[irritably] Hey, *my* son *respects* me."
Goofy:
"Yeah...[Goofy leaves]"
Pete:
"[calling after him] Check the map, Goof!"
Bobby:
"[hands Max his can of cheese whiz] Max, here. Guard this with your life, dude."
Max:
"[singing] Roxanne, please don't forget me. I will return someday. Though I might be in traction when I do!"
Roxanne:
"Go on, go on. Good daddy."
Max:
"Dad, it's Bigfoot!"
Goofy:
"Could you back up a bit, Mr. Foot, uh, you're out of focus."
Goofy:
"Hey, Maxie. Let's play a game. You think of someone and I'll try to guess who it is. Man or woman?"
Max:
"Aw, man."
Goofy:
"Man? Hmm... That's a toughy... let's see... Walt Disney!"
Max:
"Right."
Goofy:
"Boy, I'm good at this! Now I'll think of one."
Goofy:
"[talking to Principal Mazur on the phone] Hello?"
Principal Mazur:
"Yes, Mr. Goof. This is Principal Mazur. I'm calling in regard to your son, Maximillian."
Goofy:
"Max? Oh my gosh! Is he hurt?"
Principal Mazur:
"No, Mr. Goof. He's in trouble!"
Goofy:
"Trouble? What kind of trouble?"
Principal Mazur:
"Dressed like a gang member..."
Goofy:
"Gang member?"
Principal Mazur:
"...your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!"
Goofy:
"Riot? It couldn't be my..."
Principal Mazur:
"If I were you, Mr. Goof, I'd seriously re-evaluate the way you're raising your child before he ends up IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR! [Mazur slams down the phone]"
Goofy:
"[shocked] The electric chair? [sits and hangs up awestruck] What am I going to do?..."
Max:
"[singing] She looked right through me, and who can blame her? I need a new me, plus some positive proof that I'm not just a goof."
Max:
"[at the top of his rage] Arrrgh! This is the *stupidest* vacation! You drag me from home, jam me into this dumb car, drive me a million miles away to see some stupid rat show! [calms down] Call me when the trip's over."
Goofy:
"You look just like I did at your age."
Max:
"Please don't say that, Dad."
Goofy:
"This is a vacation with me and my best buddy."
Max:
"Donald Duck?"
Goofy:
"No, silly, with you!"
Max:
"[referring to electronic equipment] Wow! All this is for us?"
Bobby:
"Mmm... Slurpish."
Max:
"[taking the equipment] Oh, this is going to be so great, man!"
Bobby:
"[taking it back] Dude, need fundage, bro."
Max:
"Oh, your fee. Yeah, right here. [gives him a can of cheese whiz]"
Bobby:
"[shouts] Cheddar! Aah-ooh! Cheddar whizzy!"
Goofy:
"[Half awake] How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?"
Max:
"Uh... three and a half?"
Max:
"Now look where you got us, Dad!"
Goofy:
"Where *I* got us?"
Max:
"You should've let me stay at home!"
Goofy:
"Why? So you'd end up in prison?"
Max:
"Prison? What are you talking about?"
Goofy:
"Your principal called me!"
Max:
"It's not what you think, Dad!"
Goofy:
"You even lied to me!"
Max:
"I had to! You were ruining my life!"
Goofy:
"I was only tryin' to take my boy fishin', okay?"
Max:
"I'm not your little boy anymore, Dad! I've grown up! I've got my own life now!"
Goofy:
"I know that! I just wanted to be part of it. [calmer] You're my son, Max. No matter how big you get, you'll always be my son."
Bobby:
"Max, look, it's the Leaning Tower of Cheesa!"
Geek:
"Yo, Stacey! Talk to, talk to me, talk to me, baby!"
Max:
"It's only Powerline, Dad, the biggest rock star on the planet."
Goofy:
"Not bigger than Xavier Cugat, the mambo king. Everybody mambo!"
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