SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
34710
SpongeBob:
Patrick, you're a genius!
Patrick:
Yeah, I get called that a lot.
SpongeBob:
What? A genius?
Patrick:
No, "Patrick".
34434
Mom fish:
What, what's with all the yelling? You just can't wait for me to die, won't you?
Old lady:
They're selling chocolate.
Mom fish:
WHAT? What are they selling?
Old lady:
Chocolate!
Mom fish:
Chocolate?
Old lady:
Yeah!
Mom fish:
...what're they selling?
Old lady:
THEY'RE SELLING CHOCOLATE!
Mom fish:
Chocolate... I remember when they first made chocolate! Sweet, sweet chocolate... I ALWAYS HATED IT!
SpongeBob:
Well, this chocolate isn't for eating...
Patrick:
You rub it on your face and it makes you live forever!
Mom fish:
Live forever, you say? I'll take one! Come on, you lazy Mary! Start rubbing me with that chocolate!
Old lady:
I hate you.
34433
Hot sauce drop:
Heheheheh! By the powers of naughtiness, I command this particular drop of hot sauce to be really, really hot!
SpongeBob:
Sandy! Wait! Victory is yours.
Sandy:
I knew you'd come to your senses, SpongeBob.
34432
Patrick:
Nobody must know! Not even... Squidward's house!
34431
SpongeBob:
I need... I need...
Crowd:
What do you need?
SpongeBob:
A tailor... because I ripped my pants!
Crowd:
Oh.
34430
Patrick:
SPIDERS! SPIDERS! GET THEM OFF OF ME!
33746
Spongebob:
Patrick, your genius is showing!
Patrick:
Where?!
32049
SpongeBob:
Attention customers, Today's special is a(dolphin noise)Krabby Patty served in a greasy(dolphin noise)sauce, and grilled to(dolphin noise)perfection! And don't forget to ask us to(dolphin noise)the(dolphin noise)fries! It'll be our(dolphin noise)pleasure!
31780
Squidward:
Patrick! I told you I'm claustrophobic!
Patrick:
Nice try Squidward but there's no Santa Claus here!
31779
Squidward:
Could you please not stand so close to me. You're making me claustrophobic.
Patrick:
What does Claustrophobic mean?
SpongeBob:
It means he's afraid of Santa Claus.
Patrick:
Ho ho ho!
SpongeBob:
Patrick stop! You're scaring him!
31777
Patrick:
Are you Squidward?
Fire Hydrant:
...
Patrick:
That's OK. Take your time.
31603
Patrick:
If I ever find the guy who upset Clamu, I'll have a few choice words for him like "you", and "are", and "a jerk"!
31243
SpongeBob:
Hey Patrick, what does this word mean?
Patrick:
"Krabs." Isn't that the red, sweaty guy you work for?
31242
Squidward:
How about this? I call this one "Bold & Brash".
Art Collector:
More like "Belongs in the Trash"!
31241
Squidward:
Hey, give that back! I was just reaching my coda!
Mr. Krabs:
Well your coda is affecting my quota!
31240
SpongeBob:
(imitating Squidward)Hey Sandy, who am I? Hello SpongeBob. Could you keep it down, I'm trying to be boring.
31239
SpongeBob:
Hey Sandy. Watch me do the "Grouchy Squidward".
Squidward:
Stop naming moves after me!
SpongeBob:
(imitating Squidward)Everybody's an idiot except for me!
Squidward:
Well, it's true!
31180
Squidward:
Look, SpongeBob. In case you forgot, here's how things work. I order the food, you cook the food, and the customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die. That sounds like a good deal to me. What do you say?
31179
Mr. Krabs:
You had to kill him. The boy cried you a sweater of tears, and you kill him!
31178
SpongeBob:
Sunsets always remind me of bowls of fruit. What do they make you think of Suidward?
Squidward:
(imagines SpongeBob exploding) Explosions--I mean--erosion!