16 Characters who get Shafted

Many Cartoons get short-ended, but most get 'em more
November 09, 2011

We see many cartoon characters who try their best to NOT be the 2nd Banana or is always the underdog, but there are some cartoon characters who CAN'T get to the top no matter how hard they try.

And this is my first Top-16 List. (I just liked the number 16 when I was a child so...)

#16...Bullwinkle J. Moose

Bullwinkle seems to get himself in trouble every time something happens, especially from the Russian Spies Boris and Natasha. If it wasn't for Rocky saving him every time, Bullwinkle would be higher on this list. And Bullwinkle NEVER got that rabbit out of the hat no matter how hard he tried. So stay tuned for...the Black-Balled Cat...or The Super-Sized Mouse!

#15...Sylvester Cat

For a cat that gets Black-Balled (this is a quote from "Bell Hoppy") every time he tries to chase Tweety, even when he tries to help Sylvester...yes, Tweety's a boy hence the Little Blue Hat! But what puts Sylvester on this list is that he tries to make his son proud by chasing mice, but gets knocked-out by a Giant Mouse (Kangaroo) named Hippety Hopper.

#14...Brian Griffin

Oh, I can hear all the fan people say "Brian doesn't get shafted"! But you're wrong! Brian Griffin can't seem to get Ms. Right, has 2 failed Books, can't finish college, and has to take a lot of crap from people...especially Glen Quagmire. So if I was Brian Griffin, I too would have an excuse to drink!

#13...Gil Gunderson

Of all The Simpsons Characters that seem to have nothing but Bad Luck...it has to be a minor character named Gil. Inspired by Jack Lemmon's character Shelley Levene of "Glengarry Glen Ross", Gil NEVER seems to get a Lucky Break from anything!

#12...Klaus Heissler

Picture this...you're a German Ski Jumper for the '86 Olympics, but you get your brain transferred to a Goldfish before ANY of that can happen! Well, that's what happened to Klaus. And of everyone in The Smith Family of "American Dad"...he gets NO respect!


And that's how I became a Goodfeather....

Based on the movie "The Goodfellas", The Goodfeathers would get themselves in a heap of trouble, but it's usually Squit who get the crap beaten-out of him every episode by Pesto. (Even Joe Peschi's character that was based upon Pesto NEVER beat the crap out of Ray Liotta's character)! And Bobby just laughs throughout. Squit sure has the short-end, even with his girlfriend Shasha.

#10...Carl Brutananadilewski

You live in New Jersey, have odd friends who look like Fast Food, but every day you deal with Prostitutes who take your money and run, get tortured by Aliens, and wind-up getting the Lorena Bobbit Special at Wong Burger! Carl seems to get it all and more so, heck...his dad even made him work on Christmas! How low can you get?

#9...Johnny Bravo

You look like James Dean and you sound like Elvis Presley, that'll get all the girls to come to you, right?...


When you're Johnny Bravo, you tend to screw-up every time a lady walks by. No matter how hard Johnny tries, even getting advice from his mom he can't seem to win the lady of his dream.


I could have Jon Arbuckle on here because he can't seem to get the girl, I could put Nermal on here because he's getting sent to Abu Dhabi which is a province in United Arab Emerates, but Odie deserves the spot because every day this simple-minded dog gets the worst out of Garfield since he gets kicked-off the table numerous times and takes a lot from Garfield!

#7...Wile E. Coyote

Right now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic coyote who spends every waking moment of his life in the futile pursuit of a sadistic roadrunner who MOCKS him and LAUGHS at him as he's repeatedly CRUSHED and MAIMED! Hope you ENJOY IT!!!

From the words of Gerorge Newman ("Weird Al" Yankovic) in the film "UHF", this seems to be true for a hungry coyote named Wile E. Coyote. Sure, he may be after the Roadrunner, but when you live in the Grand Canyon region in Arizona and there's no restaurant around...you have to eat something! And though Wile rarely talks, he tries to outsmart Bugs with all his ACME Products that he used with the Roadrunner, but returns by calling himself "MUD".

And MUD spelled backwards is DUM!

#6...Loopy de Loop

It's the early 60's, Segregation Strife in the South is at its Height and what character seems to feel that same strife?...

Loopy De Loop!

It seems that he gets maimed and knocked-down for his beliefs that not all wolves are going to eat you or leave you for dead. But at a time like the 60's, Loopy seemed loopy for many. And not only Loopy gets the shaft in almost all the cartoons he was in...but he got shafted by The Hanna-Barbera Library as well, even Yippie, Yappe, and Yahooey got recognition before Loopy would! Have you ever seen Loopy de Loop in ANY cartoon after his run between 1959 and 1965? I haven't, except for "Yo Yogi" where he plays a chef! Talk about a Losing Streak that wasn't made from The Quebec Nordiques!

#5...Donald Duck

You may know Donald's Theme!...

Who's got the sweetest disposition?
One guess, that's who?
Who'd never, ever start an argument?
Who never shows a bit of temperament?
Who's never wrong but always right?
Who'd never dream of starting a fight?
Who get stuck with all the bad luck?
No one but Donald Duck!

That's Donald Duck in a nutshell...he never gets a lucky break! Though half of the stuff he does is his own doing, but when you're a duck who can't put a word in edgewise because people can't understand you and get frustrated with almost anything you do...it seems every day you wake-up on the wrong side of the bed! Having to face a neighbor called Pete, nephews, Buzz the bee, Chip and Dale, and 200 ants...it seems that Donald Duck has a lot on his plate and too much frustrations with many! It's like he's Tom and has a Million Jerries...speaking of which...

#4...Thomas "Jasper" Cat

Thomas has one purpose in life...to catch a disease-ridden mouse called Jerry! But it seems that every time Tom chases Jerry he gets outsmarted! Whether it's from Jerry's cousin, Spike, Butch the Cat, or even Mammy Two-Shoes, Tom CAN'T chase Jerry who ruins everything he touches.

Now I feel sorry for Tom, because Jerry's attitude with Tom is "That's what Cats get for eating Mice"! And now Jerry is ruining everything with his diseased-infested feet! (And this was prior to when Tom and Jerry were friends)!

#3...Meg Griffin

It seemed that once the 2002 "Family Guy" got cancelled, Meg Griffin was respected by her family...but once it returned in 2005, she got crapped-on!

Meg is mocked every day now and she even said she was through being their punching-bag throughout the years, but then she took it all back! The only one who understands her is Brian...the Family Dog! But it seems that Meg has to be the butt of the show!

#2...Kenny McCormick


This was said every time Kenny got destroyed, not only Kenny lives in poverty and we can't understand a word from his parka, but it seems that Kenny dies every episode prior to his REAL death in "Kenny Dies". But Kenny then reveals that he CAN'T die no matter how many times he's killed. It seems that he lives like Phil Connors (Played by Bill Murray) in "Groundhogs Day", all we need is this played on Kenny's radio...


#1...Charlie Brown!

You probably saw this coming, but for someone who's bald before adulthood, can't kick a football because of some wicked girl named Lucy, having a Baseball Losing Streak that would make The Cleveland Indians look like The Darn New York Yankees, getting a kite eaten by a tree, losing a Spelling Bee under pressure, and never seeing that Red-Haired Girl...I can go on forever with Charlie Brown, but based upon Charles Monroe "Sparky" Schulz...he proved that ANYONE can have a Charlie Brown moment in life, like in the last song in "A Boy Named Charlie Brown"....

Now I know I may have forgotten some characters like Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, Stimpson Cat and Milhouse van Houten to name a few...but these characters have either accomplished in a few cartoons...or were just too darn greedy and selfish to make this list!
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