Five years ago, I joined Retrojunk. And throughout the years I made 25 Articles in 5 years, so in the long-run I would have made 5 articles in 5 years...I didn't but who's counting? So...I made it to 25!
And what to talk about for my Silver Article? How about...my past articles. As in the words of Charles Dickens "It was the Best of Times, it was the Worst of Times". And I had my share of bad articles as well as good. Now, many people have re-reviewed a lot of things and weren't satisfied with the results. One example is The Angry Video Game Nerd re-reviewing "Back to The Future"...
WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE!
Now, I can't do anything like that...but I thought of re-reviewing the articles that I've done in a Top-8 List.
Okay...here's a new policy I have with the lists I make. If it's between 20 to 49, I decided to make a Top-8 Best and Worst list all in one blow. The next list that'll be like this is the "Top-8 Best/Worst Superbowls" since we're only into Super Bowl 47, sure I could wait...but for some I'd have to see them on NFL Films since I've only been around for 30 of the Super Bowls out there. The exception of the Top-16 List would be Pepe le Pew since he had only 16 Cartoons, so I'll rank them from my least-favorite to my most favorite.
Going back DID have some pain, but hey...the past hurts! Another thing I learned from article writing is...have a paper and pen ready and use at least 5 pictures. This works wonders! And without further ado...here are the 8 Best and Worst Articles that I've made...so far...and no...this article isn't included on the list!...
#8...Donald Duck Naked
Now, this was an article that I made that WAS an article. Now, I was wondering what other white elephants in the cartoon world, Blackface and Suicide were already mentioned, I could talk about cartoons drinking and smoking (I probably might in the near future...particularly Tom and Jerry Smoking). But I decided to refer a white duck who seems to lose his shirt...literally!
I was also asked "What's with you and Donald Duck NOT wearing a shirt"? Well...it's a running gag which was also featured in comic books, video games, and even in Disney Parks and last Halloween when Hurricane Sandy hit...it had some punch in Cleveland as well...I was at Recovery and it was me, my pastor, and two women who would make food were talking about ADHD. And they'll talk about things that don't make sense...and this is one of them!
Conclusion:Remember the old Disney Commercials where they say "It All Begins With A Mouse"? Well...when it comes to Barnyard Nudity...It All Begins With A Duck!
#7...My Old Schools
Okay, since this is Christmas...I decided to use a Christmas Pic! Now, this article was seen by some people at my old school that I went to from the 4th Grade to the 8th Grade. I posted this on Facebook in that group and 50+ people saw it! And the guy I dedicated it to I had his name in the Requiem Service. I hope to have a Class of 1997 Reunion sometime, and to all those who think this Thursday will be the end, well...here's a BIG Supplies...
Conclusion:Though I've boycotted my old school for awhile...sometimes...it's good to reminisce.
#6...16 Bands/Musicians that get Snubbed from the Rock Hall
Now the 2013 Nominees ARE in and for all you Rush Fans...today is a good day, they're in the Rock Hall! Heart is in as well, but for one of my favorite bands (Procol Harum), I must say The Cleveland Motto "There's Always Next Year". I will say, I lost steam in between the article, but I'll also say many people agree that Weird Al SHOULD be in the Rock Hall in the near future.
And for people that are KISS fans, there will be another list for the ones that got the invite to the ball, but never got to dance. Or...The Bands/Musicians that got a Nomination, but didn't get the nod to be the Class of that year.
Conclusion:It IS a Long Way to the Top, if you Wanna Rock-and-Roll.
#5...In Search of the Lost Tape
It was a toss-up between "Cable TV" and "In Search of the Lost Tape", both have a good memory in my childhood and both have some good pics and vids, but I must give the nod to "In Search of the Lost Tape".
Because when I did "Cable TV", my Hard Drive crapped-out on me and even though I did talk about the stations and what was on, I may actually talk about Nickelodeon on what I call "The Orange Years" so it'll be in further detail. "In Search of the Lost Tape" was another article that was inspired from an article here. I too, fell victim to a tape that would be taped-over into oblivion. And I also hope that "Perfect Strangers" comes back to TV.
Conclusion:ALWAYS take-off the tab of your favorite tape after taping shows...then this would NOT happen.
#4...My Top-16 BEST Christmas Movies/Specials
This is probably one of the best Top-16 lists that I have. Now I didn't mention "Scrooged", I even bought it on DVD this year...I promise I'll watch it so it'll be #17 on that list. I also didn't mention TV Episodes that have a Christmas theme, but I just wanted to keep it less broad. I still love "It's a Wonderful Life" only because it has a haunting climax, something similar to a Hitchcock film...maybe that's why James Stewart did well in films like "Rear Window" and "The Man Who Knew Too Much".
Conclusion:No Man Is A Failure Who Has Many Friends!
#3...7 Curses In Cleveland Sportsr
Perhaps it may be best for Cleveland to NOT remember 2012 with all their teams encountering this...
But when it comes to Cleveland Sports, it's always a Shakespeare Tragedy. No wins since 1964, almost 50 years without a Championship, and every time we bite the Big One we always have "The _____". Now there were three other Cleveland Curses that I didn't mention...until now...
In 1976, Cleveland got the California Gold Seals and they had 4 Professional Teams. This wouldn't last however...in 1978, The Cleveland Barons and Minnesota North Stars (Now Dallas Stars...so far) were in jeopardy. So BOTH teams merged and Minnesota had hockey...but Cleveland got the Shaft. It wasn't until 2000 when the NHL would return to Ohio...but it's the Blue Jackets which are probably one of the worst NHL Franchises out there ever!
In 1989, BOTH The Cleveland Cavaliers and The Chicago Bulls were in the playoffs and The Cavs got 3rd Seed. So they would play the 6th Seed Chicago Bulls and it was pushed to Game 5 where Michael Jordan made a last second shot with a score of 101-100 Bulls. This would give Chicago and Cleveland different directions...The Bulls would win 6 titles in the 90's, while The Cavs couldn't get to the Finals.
In 2007, The Cleveland Indians were World Series-bound, but they would have to face The Boston Red Sox who had the same record as The Indians that year. The Indians were up 3-1, but someone said "No One would watch the Indians play the Rockies in the World Series", well...he got his wish! The Indians would collapse under pressure, even with an error made by Kenny Lofton and The Red Sox would win another Championship while Cleveland would just be a Major League Farm System.
Also..."The Decision" IS a Curse because after LeBron James had won a Championship in Miami this year which made Cleveland look bad!
Conclusion:The Cleveland Curse STILL Lives On And There's ALWAYS Next Year...NOT!
#2...16 Cartoon Characters Who Won't Fit-In Real Life
Now, I'm proud of this list...I love cartoons and some characters wouldn't fit in because of their antics. Now it was based upon a list I saw and it had Dennis the Menace, The Little Rascals, and Bam-Bam. I didn't include Dennis the Meanace despite having a cartoon in the 80's (which had the talent of the late Phil Hartman) and The Little Rascals had a cartoon in the 80's as well. And Bamm-Bamm Rubble mellowed-out through the years, as a matter of fact, he married Pebbles Flinstone!
Another character that wouldn't cope with the Real World is Homer Simpson. He's simple-minded, too lazy, and would have his children taken away...though it did happen in an episode once. So, he's #17 on that list.
Conclusion:Some Toons were only meant for Toontown!
NOW...WHICH ARTICLE THAT I MADE DO I LIKE?...
#1...16 Cartoon Characters That Get The Shaft!
I can just see this article anyday, anytime. It got good feedback and I did get the inspiration from another list that had Elmer Fudd, Milhouse van Houten, Dr. Zoideberg, Stimpy Cat, Daffy Duck, and Suzie Derkins.
First...Suzie was NEVER a Cartoon Character since Bill Watterson didn't want to commercialize "Calvin and Hobbes". Second...Stimpy would screw Ren over despite being simple-minded. Third...I see Dr. Zoideberg as a wacky character like Curly Howard. Fourth...Elmer Fudd DOES have his moments and Milhouse does too. More than some can imagine.
Here's what I heard a lot...why not Daffy Duck?
To me...Daffy Duck is a bastard! In the 40's he was a screwball bastard (Bugs Bunny was too...but he's a likeable bastard like Donald Duck). In the 50's he was an egotistical bastard. In the 60's he still was an egotistical bastard...but was just basically a bastard in general! Now we have "The Looney Tunes Show" where Daffy is just a terrible person who's lazy and such! That's why he didn't make the list!
I even showed the list to my cousin and he says that Kenny should be #1 and Wile E. Coyote should be #2, but nevertheless, all 16 toons have this in common...
Conclusion:They may be losers, but we love them as losers!
Well...that concludes the 1st Half of this list, but what about the ones I'd like to forget?
#8...Milan Melon Festival
This article to me is like "Super Mario Brothers 2", it isn't bad but something went wrong. And that's what happened! I also wish I went into further detail, but I didn't. Like when my grandfather was married the 2nd time, his wife just listened to the Indians games, yes...I'm sure many people in Milan, Ohio enjoy Indians Baseball as well as Clevelanders! And his 3rd wife would venture into town with us.
Conclusion:DON'T Tell Gallagher about The Milan Melon Festival...otherwise this will happen!...
This too isn't a bad article, but it suffers from what I call "The 2012 Jinx". I wrote three articles about the past ("Indians of the 90's", "Easter Past", and "The Summers I'll Never Forget") and it seems that things fizzled-out. Now the Indians have NO effect on me, my summer was okay this year though I lost a car, but this Easter I had the WORST Easter in my life...so far. I was late for church so I couldn't hear the reading so I had to read it myself because my mom insisted that I see my grandma and to end it all off...I was with my sister's in-laws. What fun...NOT!
Conclusion:One Easter that I should've stayed in bed!
Now, this is my 1st Article...but why on my "Worst" list? Well...sometimes when you have a first, it isn't the best (Henry Ford failed many times before he got the formula for a car right). It also looks like something you'd see on Wikipedia. If I had the chance to remake the list, I'd have some division as well as pictures.
Conclusion:Cold Hearted Orb Rules The Night. Remove The Colors From Our Sight. What's Red is Grey and Yellow is White, but we decide which is right...and which is an illusion!
#5...My Favorite TV Shows
First...The Bad! I didn't word this article right and I had newer shows (I'm saying that there's even something to watch on TV now that's new). Now...The Good! Sonic and Big Chuck and Lil' John were on that list. But despite that...I was in a funk during that time. My aunt died and the pain STILL lingered on.
Conclusion:I wish they STILL didn't cancel "Sonic SatAM" sooooo soon!
#4...Paul Is Dead
For my sophomore article...it was just the same as my "Progressive Rock" article. It deserved better like division of albums and pictures too! And when I hear it from non-Beatle songs, one in particular is Jimi Hendrix's "1983: A Merman I Shall Return To Be". "So my love, Catherina and me" sounds like Captain Rita (Lovely Rita)? "And it's too bad that our friends can't be here today", McCartney was a friend of Jimi Hendrix, as a matter of fact he wanted him billed in Monterrey. Maybe I'm over analyzing this TOO much!
Conclusion:I Buried Paul (Cranberry Sauce)!
#3...My Top-16 Bands/Musicians
This too, deserved more detail. Like the other threads I mentioned about rock music, how it effected me when I was young. For example, I heard Paul McCartney's "Live and Let Die" in 1994 and recognized the key to the song...Guns and Roses did it 1/2 step lower. And now when I revisit it...it looks all jumbled!
Conclusion:I did it My Way! (Too bad it wasn't great)!
#2...My Childhood 1,2, and 3
ALL 3 of these articles deserve to be one. However...they are! On my bad list. I had pics, I just didn't have the words. Luckily...I have the things from my childhood past in rewritten articles. I have a few more to go, so stay tuned for more of what I did during my childhood in the near future as well as inspirations.
Conclusion:Like your Past...it deserves better!
WHICH ARTICLE DO I DRED TO SEE?
Now I'll be honest...I made a Paragraph, NOT an Article when I made this. It should've had more jokes, more memories, more everything! But it didn't! Now it's on my worst list!
Conclusion:It's time for Final Jeopardy!...
Alex Trebek: (As he enters) And what a Final Jeopardy! Wow, 5 years and 25 articles talking about Disney Ducks and Cleveland Sports. Looks like you have sooooo much time on your hands!
Well...I don't but I also want to wish you all a Merry Christmas, with a song dedicated to the masses by Bing and Bowie....