"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast
"Wrong, wrong, absolutely brimming over with wrongability
"Well, I would have thought it was obvious. Two people unable to contain their desires had an illicit liason. A liason that an unforgiving society would not accept, and you were the fruit of their forbidden passion. You're forbidden passion fruit.
"And the moral of the story is , appreciate what you've got because basically I'm fantastic.
"lister: as soon as I step out of that door I get enough volts up my jacksy to light up the whole of boogle
rimmer: well considering what the future has instore for your jacksy a few million volts will be nothing
"Kryten- "Mr Rimmer would be effectively dead."
Cat- "Hey! Things are looking up already.
"Rimmer, can't you see that the story is not gripping me? I'm in a state of nongripness. I'm completely smegging ungripped. Shut the smeg up!
"Rimmer- "What is there that one could possibly loathe about me?"
Kryten- "Would you like a list sir?
"Rimmer- "Step up to red alert."
Kryten- "Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.
"*holding up a tampon* Go ahead try it on I want to see what it looks like!
"Smeg off dog-food-face!
"Im going out the same way I came in, screaming and kicking
"Yes, sir I am a robot
"So let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you're completely sane?
"When the going gets tough, the tough go have a little cry in the corner.
"Rimmer: "I used to be in the Samaritans."
Lister: "I know. For one morning."
Rimmer: "I couldn't take any more."
Lister: "I don't blame you. You spoke to five people and they all committed suicide. I wouldn't mind, but one was a wrong number!
"Do you realize that with all this rescue stuff, I haven't had time to perm my leg hairs!
"Rimmer: "I've seen Westerns, I know how to speak cowboy."
Steps up to the bar.
Rimmer: "Dry white wine and Perrier, please ."
"My brain's rebelled. It just won't accept nice things happening to me.
"No look, I'm you from the future. I've come to warn you that in 3 million years you'll be dead!