Nick:
"We'll learn the metric system. We gotta buy coats and sweaters and learn hockey and all that shit."
Kurt:
"This place is awful. It's like The Sharper Image took a shit in here."
Dr. Julia:
"Well, Shabbat Shalom, somebody's circumcised!"
Nick:
"Strangely enough, lucky for Kurt, there's no laws on the books against putting people's toiletries up your ass."
Dale:
"No one's going to pay you to be a husband, unless you marry Oprah."
Nick:
"I get to work before the sun comes up, and I leave long after it's gone down. I haven't had sex in 6 months with someone other than myself. And the only thing in my refrigerator is an old lime. Could be a kiwi, no way to tell."
Kurt:
"Technically, I think it's immoral not to kill him."
Dave:
" Listen to me, you stupid little runt. I OWN YOU. You're my BITCH! So don't walk around here thinking you have free will because you DON'T. I can break you anytime I want!"
Wetwork Man:
"Are you kidding me? I've driven all this way and nobody wants to get pissed on?"
Dale:
"What is "deliberately" undressed? You accidentally get undressed?"
Dale:
"You don't put a playground next to a bar. That's entrapment."
Kurt:
"Your father told me very clearly that he would rather die than save money and hurt people."
Bobby:
"Well, guess what? Looks like we're right on schedule then."
Kurt:
"I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the fifty states."
Dave:
" Life is a marathon and you cannot win a marathon without putting a few Band-Aids on your nipples!"
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