Wild Wild West
Release: June 30, 1999

Based upon CBS' primetime "sci-western" drama. Two 1870's government agents, James T. West (Will Smith) and Artemus Gordon (Kevin Kline), represent two opposite ends of the personality scale: West is a smooth-talking charmer and man of action who prefers to shoot first and ask questions much, much later; Gordon is intensely methodical and cerebral, with a genius for gadgets and mechanical innovations. They're brought together by no less an authority than the U.S. President to track down an evil genius named Dr. Arliss Loveless (Kenneth Branagh). Loveless was once an honored military leader and inventor until one of his schemes went awry and left him paralyzed from the waist down. Driven mad by the experience, Loveless is determined to get revenge on the United States by assassinating the President, using a 60-foot tall mechanical spider. Assisting Loveless is a team of beautiful female criminals, Miss East (Bai Ling), Amazonia (Frederique Van Der Wal), Munitia (Musetta Vander) and Miss Lippenreider (Sofia Eng). As the initially suspicious West and Gordon learn to work together, they also find themselves helped by an attractive woman, Rita Escobar (Salma Hayek), who has her own bone to pick with Loveless.

Artemus Gordon: "I'm the master of the mechanical stuff and I'm here to help you. Because you're the master of this STUPID STUFF!"
Dr. Loveless: "I like to BEAT my FEET on the Mississippi MUD"
Jim and Crazy Soldier: "Crazy: (does kung foo moves) Yeeeaah!! I learned that...from a China man! Jim: (grabs shovel and brains crazy) Well, I just made that one up! -Jim and Crazy Soldier"
Artemis Gordon: "And that someone - who will remain nameless- JIIIIIIM....WEEEEEEST....decided to step out of the ring, which led to our delightful romp through the cornfield. -Artemis Gordon"
Jim West: "Arty...that...is a man's...head... -Jim West"
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