Pee-Wee's Playhouse Quotes
(Screaming in a panic)
Pee-Wee Herman:
Pterri, That is enough screaming for the for the secret word.
It's not that, Pee-Wee. Look! (Continues screaming as the alarm sounds and Pee-Wee checks the kitchen)
Conky 2000:
Pee-Wee Herman:
What's your name, Kid?
Pee-Wee Herman:
Uh, Pee-Wee Herman!
Well, You listen to me, Pee-Wee Herman. Making prank phone calls is against the law! If I was such a nice guy, I would have take you downtown and throw you into jail! How would you like that?
Pee-Wee Herman:
No, Officer. I wouldn't want that. I have just learn my lesson.
Johnny Wilson (The Conky Repairman):
I only a few more switches and we are all set. (After he fixes Conky he yells for Pee-Wee) PEE-WEE, We are ready.
Pee-Wee Herman:
(Turns Conky on and Conky Starts up and everybody cheered as the happy fanfare played)How do you feel, Conky?
Conky 2000:
I feel Great!
(Screaming as the word "GREAT" flashes on the bottom of the screen).
Pee-Wee Herman:
So, What was the wrong with Conky?
Johnny Wilson (The Conky Repairman):
Well, It was nothing serious. He just needed a little tune up.
Pee-Wee Herman:
JAMBI! HELP!!! (Knocks on Jambi's Box Several times, As Pee-Wee tries to grant a wish on his toothache not to be so painful)
Jambi's answering machine:
Hello, I am not here to grant your wish right now. So please write your name, and wish after the beep. And I'll be back to grant them just as soon as I can. (BEEP!)
Look what I got for you, Nice piece of foil for your foil ball.
Pee-Wee Herman:
Oh, I forgot to tell you, Ricardo. My foil ball got so big, I could not keep it in the house (Everybody screams as the secret word: "HOUSE" flashes)
So, What did you do with it?
Pee-Wee Herman:
I donated it to the Foil Museum. But now I have rubber band ball.
Well, That's good news. I have a rubber band for your rubber band ball.
Pee-Wee Herman:
(Uses the portable can air horn to stop the kids from playing too rough and being out of control) Alright kids, I want to have a chat with you. Okay? (Everyone screams as the secret word: "OKAY" flashes) Now, A playhouse is a place where anybody can play. But you kids we're playing too loud, too noisy, and too rough. You cannot run around the playhouse, Screaming, and jumping on the furniture. You welcome to play anytime that you want. But for now, I want you to go home. And remember what said, I would not have tell you. (The kids left with disappointment)
Mister Window:
(After the kids left) They're all gone.
Pee-Wee Herman:
Is there anything else that we can help, Firefighter Derrick?
Yes, A lot of these tips are available at your local fire department (gave Pee-Wee Herman a sticker that has his phone number) Here is my phone number. Make sure to put this near your telephone.
So is that bread ready, yet?
Pee-Wee Herman:
No, Randy. The bread have burned because someone turned the temperature way up on the oven. Do you who could have done something stupid like that?
I did it! Heh-Heh-Heh
Randy, How could you?
Mr. Window:
Why did you do that for?
Whole Characters:
(All argues at once)
Miss Yvonne:
Why, Randy, Why?!?
I thought it would quicker if it's hotter.
Pee-Wee Herman:
Randy, You know you were not suppose to touch the oven.
Well, I am very sorry about the bread. I'll go down the bakery and get you another one.
(Screaming as we see the secret word: "ONE" flashing)
Pee-Wee Herman:
Randy, I don't care about the bread, I care about the fire safety in the playhouse.
Is everything okay?
Pee-Wee Herman and Miss Yvonne:
Well, Fortunately. There was not a fire, Just a bunch of smoke. Here is how it started (Shows Pee-Wee Herman and Miss Yvonne the burned bread)
Miss Yvonne:
Oh no, My bread.
Sorry, I do love homemade bread.
Pee-Wee Herman:
Gee, Firefighter Derrick. How could this have happen?
Well, Anything will burn like that at 700 degrees.
Miss Yvonne:
700 degrees?!? But I set up the oven in 350 degrees. Didn't I, Pee-Wee.
Pee-Wee Herman:
Yeah, Who could have done it?
Well, somebody must had turned it way up to 700 degrees.
Pee-wee (putting pajamas on his ventriloquist dummy, Billy Baloney): Mm-mm-la-la... there we go. Now one leg... the other leg. There now, Billy. Aren't those nice pajamas?
Billy Baloney: YES, THANK YOU!
(Pee-wee laugh)
(Picture-Phone starts ringing)
Pee-wee and Billy: I'LL GET IT!
Pee-wee: Oh, sorry, Billy. I'll get it...
(Pee-wee runs to Picture-Phone, pulls down a desert-themed shade, pulls the lever, dons a fez, and picks up can-receiver)
Pee-wee: Pee-wee's Playhouse; Pee-wee speaking...
(a hungry person on a couch comes on the screen)
Hungry person: Hey. I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, (cut back to Pee-wee, surprised) uh, two root beers, (cut back to hungry person) and a triple-scoop chocolate sundae with everything on it.
Pee-wee (holding his nose, as if to imitate a telephone operator): I'm sorry, please check the number again and be sure that you are dialing correctly.
(Hungry person stares blankly for a moment, hangs up)
Pee-wee (takes off fez, pulls lever back): I love wrong numbers! (laughs)
Pee-wee: As I sing a song, won't you sing along? 'Cause I know your name is...
You are my friend, and I can depend, 'cause I know your name is...
My name is Pee-wee, and you are... and I would never lie.
You can call me Pee-wee, I'll call you... I know you are, but what am I?
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! TAKE IT!
Chairry: My name is Chairry, and you are...
Globey: My name is Globey, and you are...
Billy: My name is Billy, and you are...
Pee-wee: My name is Pee-wee, and you are...!
(cheers and applause)
Pterri: (continues singing) My name is Pterri. My name is Pterri. My name is Pterri. My name is Pterri. My name is Pterri...
Pee-wee: Pterri? Pterri! Pterri, the song is over!
Pterri: (stops) Oh. Well, how was I supposed to know about it?
(Pee-wee laughs)
Reba: "Hello!"
Pee-Wee: "AHHHHH! Breaks! Breaks!"
Reba: "Sorry, I did not mean to make the airplane stop!"
(The Characters scream at the secret word, Stop)
Pee-wee: (picture phone rings) "I'll get it! I'll get it!" (answers) "Pee-wee's Playhouse, Pee-wee speaking."
Cowboy Curtis: "Woo Wee!"
Pee-wee: (singing) "Connect the dots, la la la la. Connect the dots, la la la la."
Magic Screen: "Hey, Pee-wee, it's time to play with me."
Pee-wee: "OK, Magic Screen. Here I come."
Conky: "Conky 2000. Ready to assist you, Pee-wee."
Cowntess: "Moo hoo! Pee-wee!"
Dixie: "Presenting his majesty... The King of Cartoons!"
Jambi: "Wish? Did somebody say wish?"