Eddie:
"Holy smoke, he's a toon!"
Judge Doom:
"Surprised?"
Eddie:
"Not really. That old lame-brain freeway idea wouldn't be conjured up by a toon."
Judge Doom:
"Not just ANY toon!"
Porky Pig:
"Okay, Okay. Please move it all along. There is nothing else to see, and that's all folks! (To the viewers) I like the the sound of that. (As he holds the iris and The Looney Tunes ending music plays) T-t-t-t-that's all Folks! (Chuckles until Tinker Bell closes the iris)"
Jessica Rabbit:
"Mr. Valiant? (Slaps Eddie Valiant) I hope you're proud of yourself, And those pictures you took."
Eddie Valiant:
"(Yelling as he wears an animated pig head) "I'M A PIG!!!" (Runs in a panic)"
Lt. Santino:
"Judge Doom killed Marvin Acme...."
Eddie Valiant:
"... And R.K. Maroon, And my twin brother, Theodore Valiant."
Lt. Santino:
"Now that's what I call a one seriously disturb toon."
Roger Rabbit:
"So long, And thanks for nothing! (Slams the closet door)"
Eddie Valiant:
"THAT'S THE CLOSET! Stupe (Hangs up the telephone) (He turns on the light as he opens the closet door)"
Roger Rabbit:
"(In a british accent) Eddie Valiant, You are under arrest! (Clicks the handcuffs on Eddie Valiant)"
Eddie Valiant:
"GET OUT OF THERE!"
Eddie:
"She's married to Roger?"
Betty Boop:
"Yeah, what a lucky girl."
Roger:
"My dear Jessica, how do I love thee! Let me count the ways. One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand......."
Jessica:
"That would be my honey bunny. He was never good behind the wheel."
Roger:
"PATTY CAKE?! PATTY CAKE?! PATTY CAKE?!"
Jessica:
"Darling, let's go home. I'll make you a carrot cake."
Roger:
"Here's my philosiphy. If you don't have a good sense of humor, you're better off dead."
Jessica:
"Oh no, it's DIIIIIIP!!"
Dolores:
"(Spotting Eddie and Jessica together) So, dabbling in watercolors, Eddie?"
Mickey Mouse:
""Gosh, I wondered who he really was?""
Eddie:
"This singin' ain't my line. It's tough to make a rhyme. If I get stuck...I'm out of luck..."
Jessica:
"I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME!"
Roger:
"Yeah. Check the probate. Why, my Uncle Thumper had a problem with HIS probate, and he had to take these big pills, and drink lots of water."
Eddie:
"Not prostate, you idiot. PROBATE!"
Jessica:
"Oh, no. Where's Roger?"
Eddie:
"Roger? He chickened out on me back at the studio."
Jessica:
"(Explaining what she did to Roger) No he didn't. I hit him in the head with a frying pan and put him in the trunk so he wouldn't get hurt."
Eddie:
"Makes perfect sense."
Eddie:
"(To Jessica after one of the weasels gets his hand stuck in a steel trap in her cleavage)"