Cartoon love (The Bad Kind)

We were young and foolish. Fiction and fact blurred. We were in love, with cartoon women.
October 11, 2005
We all remember our first love. It's a timeless tradition. A chill Saturday morning, a warm bowl of Undercover Bears oatmeal, and the inviting glow of our girlfriend... on the TV. Yes we all had out favorites (whether we admit to it now-a-days or not). She always took the edge off the action packed manliness of our time honored 30 minute commercials. So take a walk down memory lane with your perfect lady as Mr.Gone presents

The Top 10 cartoon women of the 80's
10: April O'Neil- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

She was a sassy news reporter that always wore the same cloths. She was the perfect dose of feminine charm for our four furious fighting friends. How many nights did you roam the parking lots behind your local TV station hoping to save a red headed vision. She taught us that beauty and brains can be found in one woman.

9: Janine Melnitz- The Real Ghostbusters

Annie Potts was easy on the eyes in the second Ghostbusters movie. Before Fran Dresher made us realize that we could overlook a nasal Bronx accent, Janine gave us our first idea why secretaries were so popular with daddy. She may have played it tough ,but we always knew that we could be her Egon.

8: Jenny- Bucky O'Hare

Ah, the animals. The 80's cartoons always had a way of making us wonder if it was okay to think that cat was hot. No one made it tougher than Jenny. From her skin tight sliver uniform, to her innate butt kicking abilities, Jenny always makes us wonder how strict those "no petting the large cats" rules are.

7: Rock 1- Bionic Six

Rock-1 Was the quintessential 80's hotty, plus she could bench press your mom's station wagon. Every Saturday morning you got to watch this Madonna wanna be blow all of her cloths off and prance around in spandex. Enough to make you spill your Crispy Critters.

6: The Sorceress- Masters of the Universe

Was she really part bird, or was it just a Vegas showgirl thing. Who cares? The Sorceress always had that naughty school teacher edge to her. She would always tell you the right thing to do, then strut around in a feather one-piece. Not exactly a positive influence.

5: Glitter- Kidd Video

Size differences aside, this Olivia Newton John pixie seemed like a perfect party gal. Ready to tear around in a car that looked like a ketchup covered Twinkie, or jam out to some (ahem) gnarly tunes, Glitter was always there to make those Kidd Video episodes almost bearable.

4: Scarlet- G.I. Joe

She was fighting for freedom where ever there was trouble and giving us what was probably our first girl action figure. Who doesn't love a red head with a tank? She was less butch than Lady Jay and she gave Snake Eyes all the loving we knew he deserved. Yo Joe!

3: Sheila- Dungeons and Dragons

Now here is a hot chick that is actually impressed with your epic level character and your +2 mace. This hot little number was even close to our age, and she knows what a THAC0 is from first hand experience. Now if you could just get her to use that cloak to make you two invisible and you could sneak off to a quiet corner of the dungeon.

2: Arcee- The Transformers Movie

What was greater than the Transformers movie? That's right nothing! The horrible scarring of our tender little minds, watching that merciless bastard Megatron put round after round through so many of our favorite robots in disguise, but she made it all okay. Sure she had skin like a toaster oven, but it would be warm. Arcee taught us that just because it doesn't have a heart, doesn't mean we can't fall in love with it. Just gotta get that Springer out of the way.

1: Cheetara-Thundercats

Ahhh those long slender lines. That sultry voice, that..... body hair. She was raw sexual power and she knew it. If it wasn't her blinding speed that stupefied her enemies..

it was her skimpy outfit. I'm not sure what Rankin-Bass was thinking, but they sure kick started puberty for a lot of us. As if this wasn't bad enough, they had us hooked from the first episode. No other lady on this list was shown "naked" right off the bat :O

So there you have, the top 10 list you'll never want your mom to see. Laugh, cry, hug your present girlfriend tight and tell her they meant nothing to you. We know the truth.
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