Crazy Childhood: Jurassic Park

Whoever thought dinosaurs eating people could be so cool?
December 15, 2009

Jurassic Park (1993)

Directed by: Steven Spielburg

Starring: Richard Attenborough, Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Joesph Mazzello, Ariana Richards, Martin Ferraro, Bob Peck, Samuel L. Jackson, Wayne Knight

In Jurassic Park, no one can hear you scream.

If there's one thing Hollywood is good at, it's hyping us up. There's always a movie or two that always tend to get us hooked into seeing it in theaters. Well, they can't get ME to get so hyped up so easi--


Umm...sorry you had to see that.

Anyways, whenever there's a movie Hollywood wants us to see, they have to think of a gimmick to get us to watch it. For Who Framed Roger Rabbit, it would be cartoon characters interacting with human characters. For Godzilla, it would be...well, you know. For Avatar, it would smurf killers? Anyway, you get the idea.

In 1993, the biggest gimmick for the biggest film of that year would have to be dinosaurs. I don't know why people were into dinosaurs so much. Ever since the 90's came along, every kid, teen or adult was into dinosaurs, as they were constantly used in TV shows, movies, video games, etc. But no matter how much merchandise was made for this film, Jurassic Park is still a sophisticated and thrilling film that I enjoyed from beginning to end.

"Oh, that? Oh, that's not a dinosaur. That's just a cardboard stand-up. We're not even half-way in finishing this theme park.

My only memory of this film (besides the shitload of merchandise) was when I rented the film on video when I was about 10-11 years old. I didn't get through the whole thing because it scared the living shit out of me. Now that I'm more grown-up, I figured I could get through the whole thing. So I gave it a try and the film did something that's very hard for me when watching a movie on the small screen:

It got the job done by startling me.

What's strange is that I watched the film twice (it's that good) and the same scene that startled me happened to work again. I tell you more about it later, but Spielburg, how do you do it?

Uh, get the raptor away from the Playboy website!


Architect John Hammond (Attenborough) invites a group of scientists (Neill, Goldblum and Dern) to inspect a theme park wher scientists have successfully cloned dinosaurs from prehistoric mosquitoes. But when a plan to steal dino embryo goes wrong, all the dinosaurs in the park, including a T-Rex and raptors, are on the loose, and the technicians and scientists attempt to escape the island before they're dino snacks.


When I watched it the first time, there were a few things that didn't make sense to me, like the crap about the dinosaurs in the park were all female. When I watched it the second time, I was able to understand it all.

So technically, there's pratically nothing wrong with this movie.

"Just stay calm. Maybe he just wants to know where the bathroom is."


Pretty much everything.

For 1993, the CGI dinos are really impressive. The first time we see the dinosaurs munching on leaves, I really felt that they were really there. It felt like if you had the chance to feel one of them, you'd feel the scaly, bumpy skin for real.

There's also animatronics in the film from time to time. That shows you that Spielburg feels that computers shouldn't steal the show and that other special effects should entertain not only audiences, but those who grew up with puppetry and animatronics all their lives.

But really, the dinosaurs shredding humans to pieces is worth the Blockbuster rental.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

"Yes, with these dinos, I WILL RULE THE WORL--Oh, sorry. You weren't supposed to hear that."

Greetings from picturesque Bedrock!


Man, like I even NEED to say any more? This film is a classic. If you've seen it, see it again. If you haven't, why are you reading this review? You know what to expect! GO AND SEE IT NOW!!!!



See ya!
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