Childhood Boredom

Being a child can be incredibly boring
November 12, 2009
Be honest, how many times did you utter the following phrase when you were a child, "Uugh, I'm Bored!" and/or "Can we go?! This is boring.", "Are we there yet?!" etc. etc.

Well, I did plenty. The following are situations that can make childhood incredibly boring.

1. A complete lack of interest in sports

With the exception of Most Horrible Injury type compilations (later on in life), I've hated sports ever since I knew what they were. This was partially due to being born premature, with weak lungs. I could never run worth a damn, and was always fairly uncoordinated. Whenever my parents would sign me up for a sport as a kid, I would always inevitably give up, and put no effort in. First was baseball, then soccer, then hockey. Eventually, they stopped trying. Though, this was beyond playing sports, I also hated watching them as well. Whenever other kids would talk about their favorite this or that player, I would be completely in the dark.

2. Being dragged somewhere by your parents because they couldn't get a babysitter, at the time you were "too young" to stay by yourself period, just because, etc.

You're taking me to a dinner party?

Oh boy, what fun. You mean I get to stand around, in a room with no other kids, answer the same questions over and over, smile, and nod politely? Sign me up! Sometimes I even thought about typing up a list with my name, age, school I went to, and favorite things to do, because I would get asked these main questions ad-nauseum. Or how about that fun trip with dad to the Hardware Store?

Well, my last name certainly isn't Taylor, and my dad never had a t.v. show called Home Improvement, so fun, no not at all.

"Wait here, I need to find a 3/8 blah blah blah." "Ok Jack." (I've always called my parents by their first names, so has my older brother, who I'm sure is the one I got it from). Oh, boy staring at tiles, just marvelous, hmm, there's a cart over there, but I know if I fool around with it, and ride it down the aisle, I'll just get yelled at. "Why are you sitting down?" "Because I'm bored, and there's nothing to do." "Bored? You could be learning something about tools." "Gee, sounds great." Or, how about those excruciatingly long times spent at the grocery store with mom?

Hmm, Cherri's staring at vegetables again, why doesn't she just pick one damnit. I'd love to go to the freezer aisle, and stick my head in the door, but no, more vegetables. Finally, were at check out. "Would you like carry out service maam?" Yes, yes she would! "No, that's ok, my son will help me." Great, just great. You get the idea.

3. Doing something one of your parents enjoyed as a kid, that they thought you would enjoy

"You're just gonna love going camping son, I'll never forget the time my dad took me camping, blah blah blah...." Gee, sounds like a blast. "What do you mean you don't want to go on a hike?" "It's hot, I'm sunburned, tired, and I have bug bites everywhere." "Fine, I guess we should just go home..." "You wanna go surfing?" "Uh, no." "Sure you do, you love surfing..." "No, that would be Dominic, my brother." "Nonsense, just try it..." Later. "Well, getting stung by that jellyfish sure was fun, can we go now?" And on and on.
4. Pointless first day of class agenda

"I'd like to start with everyone telling me there name and what they did this summer" I'm blank and I went fishing, I'm blank and I went to one cares. "Ok, now, I'll read the entire syllabus to the class, word for word, since everyone's obviously completely blind and can't do it for themselves." Uh, kill me now. "Now I'd like to tell you a little about myself...." I really could care less lady. "You, there, am I boring you, you seem to be falling asleep?" Oh no, not at all, your five cats and estranged husband sound totally fascinating. "Uh, no maam." "Good."

5. Three Words: Daytime Summer Camp

Lanyard making sweat shops? Sitting in a circle for an hour because one person misbehaved? Going to the same nearby museums over and over? Yay! "Why aren't you making a lanyard?"

"I've already made five." "Well, aren't they fun, why don't you make another one? "No, not really, making them is incredibly repetitive and mind numbing." "Oh...." "Ok, everyone let's all go to the Museum of Man." "Didn't we go there last week?" "Well yes, but that was last week." "Are there any new exhibits?" "Well no, but you can use your imagination." "Ok, I'm going to use my imagination, and pretend this tree is the museum, I'll be fine staying right here at camp."

6. Not liking what was seen as "cool"

This guy's really cool

"Hey wanna play Power Rangers?", "Uh, not really, wanna play Night Of The Living Dead?" "Huh?".

So, yeah, like fellow RJ'er, MarkyGoreVon, I was the oddball who loved Horror Movies, and in my case, anything morbid period. I was a Pugsley Addams in a sea of Beaver Cleavers. "Oh, there's that weird kid who thinks everyday is Halloween." Yep, that's me. Then there's music. While all my peers in elementary were listening to NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, etc., I was listening to Smashing Pumpkins, The Cure, Bauhaus, Siouxsie And The Banshees, David Bowie etc. "Smashing who?" Yeah.

I was pretty cool alright. Heh. Also, besides horror movies, I also liked David Lynch movies from an early age. To the average kid, David Lynch screams boring and confusing. Yeah.

All in all though, I'm glad I grew up the way I did. In my mind, it paid off in the end. I held fast to what I liked, and eventually, I finally met other people with similar interests.

'Till next time.

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