Monster Mash

Four classic monster titans go claw to horn.
August 07, 2007
It's monsters unleashed as four of our favorite monster titles are resurrected to do battle in a no holds monsters brawl. I've listed each one with a summary and my own personal score. You guys can give your scores too, I'm interested to know what you think. Who will win or lose is anyone's guess, it's time to chose a top scarer.

1. The Monster Squad

Release year- 1987
DVD release- 2007
Rated- Beleive it or not, PG-13!
(For language, violence and ...cigarette smoking?!)

First you take Abbot And Castello Meet The Montsers, then remove Abbot and Castello and insert The Goonies and you have this beautiful beastly frag fest. Sean Crenshaw and his friends have to stop the ultimate rouges gallery of classic movie monsters including: The Mummy, The Wolfman, The Gillman (formerly known as The Creature From The Black Lagoon but changed for legal reasons) and their grand high leader Count Dracula, from getting their hands, paws and flippers on a special amulet with magic powers.The Frankenstein monster is also in the movie but he defects to the squad after making friends with them. If the kids get the amulet first they can send the monsters to limbo, but if the monsters get it first they will send the world into eternal darkness. This movie is kind of cheesie but it has some pretty good special effects, especially for something out of the 80's and is also pretty funny. This is were we got household words like "nards" from, go figure. Score: 7.5

2. Little Monsters

Release year- 1989
DVD release- 2004
Rated- PG (Now that's more like it.)

Note: This storyline relies on the old "monster under the bed" legend. Brian(Fred Savage), his little brother Eric (Ben Savage, yes they really are brothers) and their parents move to a new town and Brian is instantly thrown into a world of loneliness. That is until he makes very special friends with a Ronald McDonald wanna be of a monster named Maurice (Howie Mandel). This happens when Maurice scares Eric and Brian offers to trade rooms with him. At first Brian doesn't believe a word of it, but once the lights go out all hell breaks loose. Brian decides to go for a second night and we discover that the monsters' weakness in this incarnation is bright light especially sun light (ala Gremlins).Brian decides to save Maurice's life from the sun the second morning and in return Maurice takes Brian into a subterranean world of magic and fun were there are no adults and no rules. It's a dream come true for Brian until he realizes that he too is becoming a little monster (in this story all monsters were once children). Later Eric is kidnapped by a large monster named Snick the lackey of the real villain Boy in order to lure Brian into his room in the monster world to become his successor. Brian, Maurice and their two new human friends must defeat Boy and Snick, rescue Eric and return to the human world or risk becoming little monsters forever. This is a funny and heart warming film that I highly recommend for the whole family. Score: 9.5
3. Aaahh!!! Real Monsters

Running years- 1994-1998
Rated- N/A

Meet Ickis, Krumm and Oblina three little monsters (not to be confused with the above movie) who are scarers in traning. They have to go to school and put up with teachers and homework just like you and I. Except that their school is hidden under a dump just outside of Newark, New Jersey and their teacher, the Gromble, will literally chew them up and spit them out if they don't pay attention. There's also the dangers of the human world above especially one human in particular named Simon The Monster Hunter (anyone remember him?) who is constantly trying to capture a monster and put it on display thus blowing their cover and risking the monsters' very existence. However, the monsters do have a human friend as well, a little boy named Bradly. He doesn't appear to often but proves helpful when he is around. The show was created by the animation company Klasky/Csupo exclusively for Nickelodeon along with many others, but of all the Klasky/Csupo cartoons this has got to be the darkest. That was why I liked this toon, it was dark but also had a sense of humor to match. I would also like to give shout out to both of the above companies: Aaahh!!! Real Monsters on DVD baby, make it happen! Score-a perfect 10!

And last but certainly not least...

4. Monsters Inc.

Release year- 2001
Rated- G

Note: this story relies on the old "Monster in the closet" legend. Okay so this one isn't quite retro yet but I figure it will be by the end of the decade. James P. Sullivan (Sully, voiced by John Goodman) and Micheal Wazowski (Mike, voiced by Billy Crystal) work at Monsters Inc. an industrial factory run by one Mr. Waternoose, that employs scarers to go through closet doors and gather childrens' screams to power their fare city of Monstropolis. There is but one rule however, one must never allow a child access to the monster world as they are poisonous and can't even be touched. Or so they thought. Late one night Sully finds a door standing alone in the factory. While looking inside into a child's room beyond he mistakenly let's said child, a cute little girl, into their world and thus all hell breaks loose. Now Sully and Mike have to figure out how to get the little girl, "Boo" as Sully calls her, back home while their arch rivals from work Randal Boggs (Steve Buscemi) and Fungus try to capture her and make her the first victim of their new twisted machine "The Scream Extracter". Mike and Sully will have to use everything at their disposal to unravel the conspiracy at Monsters Inc. and save both our worlds. This is another funny and heart warming movie that I highly recommend for the family. Score- 9.5

Well it was a close match but it looks like Aaahh!!! Real Monsters takes home the belt. That's only my opinion of course, please feel free to give me your opinions. Maybe you have a favorite scarer of your own.
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