The Critic
Debut: January 01, 1994
Ended: January 01, 1995
Debut: January 01, 1994
Ended: January 01, 1995
Intros
Season 2 intro
"Pilot"
"Sherman, Woman and Child"
"Lady Hawke"
Credits
Posters
Quotes
Elanor and Franklin Sherman:
"Elanor: Franklin, my life is an endless grey corridor.
Franklin: I've been there too, usually there's a midget making googly eyes at me. I call him "Mr Pickolini"."
Added By: Hamursh
Eleanor Sherman:
"[closing out her and husband Franklin's segment in a video will] Remember us, dears."
Added By: System
Franklin:
"He won't steal the silverware, I've glued that to the ceiling."
Added By: System
Duke:
"make him SQUEAL!"
Added By: System
Jay:
"Hachi MACHI!"
Added By: System
Jay Sherman:
"Shrimp gives me gas."
Added By: System
Duke:
"I think you're a big, fat toilet and flush all my money down...sort of a "Johnny Cash"."
Added By: System
Jay:
"Skull cracked. Brains leaking out. Can't wait to see new Chevy Chase movie."
Added By: System
Jay:
"Celebrity voices are impersonated. No celebrities were harmed in the filming of this episode."
Added By: System
Jay:
"Hotchie Motchie!"
Added By: System
Eleanor:
"[on phone]
Jay, this is your mother. Your father and I are taking you out of our will, we feel you already have enough money. Oh yes, and happy birthday!"
Added By: System
Duke:
"I'm giving you five days of my time to turn you around."
Jay:
"What if five days isn't enough?"
Duke:
"Son, I spent just three days with a young man named Bill Clinton and look at him now."
Jay:
"Maybe you should've taken four."
Duke:
"Yeah..."
Added By: System
Jay:
"Take your genitalia right back to Australia!"
Added By: System
Jay:
"I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42 pants."
Added By: System
Duke:
"Look, this isn't art, it's just mindless pabulum for losers who can barely read. Oh that reminds me, I've got an interview with People Magazine."
Added By: System
Gene Siskel:
"Well I thought that movie was very poignant. Particularly the scene where Tom Cruise walks around Las Vegas with a bucket full of his brother."
Roger Ebert:
"Aw, c'mon, Gene. That was just another pointless sequel that didn't need to be made."
Gene Siskel:
"This, from the man who liked 'Benji the Hunted?'"
Roger Ebert:
"Hey, you liked 'Carnosaur!'"
Gene Siskel:
"Well I bet you'll like this!
[punches thrown]"
Gene Siskel:
"Hasta la vista, Porky!"
Roger Ebert:
"Cue ball in the side pocket!
[punches thrown]"
Added By: System
Eleanor:
"Oh! Can't one dinner pass where we don't talk about your rotting corpse?"
Added By: System
Jay:
"On the 'Shermometer' this film rates an absolute zero!"
Added By: System
Jay:
"I do have a way with women...over sixty."
Added By: System
Shakleford:
"I'm sorry, Master Jay, I did so want to scrub your dainties, but they somehow caught fire. Why do they burn so long?"
Added By: System
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