The Critic
Debut: January 01, 1994
Ended: January 01, 1995
Debut: January 01, 1994
Ended: January 01, 1995

The Show Was About The Life Of American Film Critic Jay Sherman.

Intros
Credits
Posters
Quotes
Elanor and Franklin Sherman: "Elanor: Franklin, my life is an endless grey corridor. Franklin: I've been there too, usually there's a midget making googly eyes at me. I call him "Mr Pickolini"."
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Eleanor Sherman: "[closing out her and husband Franklin's segment in a video will] Remember us, dears."
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Franklin: "He won't steal the silverware, I've glued that to the ceiling."
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Duke: "make him SQUEAL!"
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Jay: "Hachi MACHI!"
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Jay Sherman: "Shrimp gives me gas."
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Duke: "I think you're a big, fat toilet and flush all my money down...sort of a "Johnny Cash"."
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Jay: "Skull cracked. Brains leaking out. Can't wait to see new Chevy Chase movie."
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Jay: "Celebrity voices are impersonated. No celebrities were harmed in the filming of this episode."
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Jay: "Hotchie Motchie!"
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Eleanor: "[on phone] Jay, this is your mother. Your father and I are taking you out of our will, we feel you already have enough money. Oh yes, and happy birthday!"
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Duke: "I'm giving you five days of my time to turn you around."
Jay: "What if five days isn't enough?"
Duke: "Son, I spent just three days with a young man named Bill Clinton and look at him now."
Jay: "Maybe you should've taken four."
Duke: "Yeah..."
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Jay: "Take your genitalia right back to Australia!"
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Jay: "I always have to look my sexiest. That's why I'm wearing these tight, size 42 pants."
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Duke: "Look, this isn't art, it's just mindless pabulum for losers who can barely read. Oh that reminds me, I've got an interview with People Magazine."
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Gene Siskel: "Well I thought that movie was very poignant. Particularly the scene where Tom Cruise walks around Las Vegas with a bucket full of his brother."
Roger Ebert: "Aw, c'mon, Gene. That was just another pointless sequel that didn't need to be made."
Gene Siskel: "This, from the man who liked 'Benji the Hunted?'"
Roger Ebert: "Hey, you liked 'Carnosaur!'"
Gene Siskel: "Well I bet you'll like this! [punches thrown]"
Gene Siskel: "Hasta la vista, Porky!"
Roger Ebert: "Cue ball in the side pocket! [punches thrown]"
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Eleanor: "Oh! Can't one dinner pass where we don't talk about your rotting corpse?"
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Jay: "On the 'Shermometer' this film rates an absolute zero!"
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Jay: "I do have a way with women...over sixty."
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Shakleford: "I'm sorry, Master Jay, I did so want to scrub your dainties, but they somehow caught fire. Why do they burn so long?"
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