Karen:
"What are the holidays coming to when you can't bribe a friend to help a friend that screwed that friend over?
-Karen"
Karen and Grace:
"Karen: Come on Grace, why can't we have an office christmas party?
Grace: Last year's was a disaster. You got drunk, told me you loved me and then kissed me in the service elevator.
Karen: I thought that was Valentine's day.
Grace: No, on Valentine
-Karen and Grace"
Jack:
"(Singing) B-I-G N-E-W-S!"
Grace:
"This was my puppy, BoBo. He got run over by a truck. Lucky bastard."
Karen:
"No kiss goodnight?"
Leo:
"Will, I want you to know that I'm going to do everything I can to make Grace as happy as you have... well, plus sex."
Will:
"Jack, I'm asking you to be my kid's godfather. Or rather, his fairy godfather"
Will:
"Thank you, Homo-wan Kenobi."
Jack:
"Sarah Jessica Parker. Hide me."
Karen:
"OK, rule number one. Unless you're served in a frosted glass, never come within four feet of my lips"
Rosario:
"Up yours, Count Drunkula."
Grace:
"Today I'm handing out lollipops and ass-whoopins and right now, I'm all out of lollipops."
Jack:
"There are no straight men. Only men who haven't met Jack."
Grace:
"Oh my god, I turned another one."
Lesson for today:
"Though the eyes are the window to the soul, the zipper is the window to the underwear."
Jack:
"Heterosexual marriage is just wrong. I mean, if God had meant men and women to be together, he would have given them both penises."
Grace:
"Gay sex is SO hot!"
Jack:
"Will, you're going to be a great dad because for the past 10 years you've been a great one to me."
Will:
"Wanna stop for ice cream?"
Jack:
"Nah."
Will:
"Want to go to a bar and look at hot guys?"
Jack:
"I love you daddy."
Will:
"C-3PO wasn't gay, he was British."
Jack:
"Women, can't live with them....end of sentence."
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