"Maybe all that hardware's for making coleslaw"
"You are here because the outside world rejects you. THIS is your family. *I* am your father. I want you all to become full members of the Foot. There is a new enemy: freaks of nature who interfere with our business. You are my eyes and ears; find them. Together we will punish these creatures. These... turtles."
"[about April's farmhouse] Hey, didn't they use this place in The Grapes of Wrath?"
"Very funny. I told you, I haven't been up here in years."
"I do not understand. Why do the Turtles trouble you, Master? They had not been seen for many days."
"Something about the way you describe their fighting. Something familiar, something...from the past."
"Good thing these guys aren't lumberjacks."
"No joke. The only thing safe in the woods... would be the trees!"
"God, I love being a turtle!"
Pizza Delivery Guy:
"I gotta get a new route, and I thought I'd deliver everywhere."
"What's a guy gotta do to get some food around here?"
"So long freak, I got work to do!"
"Hey Raph, where you going?"
"Out to a movie. That okay with you?"
"Cricket? Nobody understands cricket. You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand Cricket."
"A Jose Canseco bat? Tell me you didn't pay money for this."
"Donatello: Look, nyuk nyuk, I think he's blushing."
"I am not!"
"I think he's actually turning red!"
"HAIYA! (throws sai between Donatello's legs)"
"What Russian novel embraces more than 500 characters and is set in the Napoleonic Wars?"
"'War and Peace'"
"(kisses the golf club) I'll never call golf a dull game again."
"Now I know how it feels to travel without a greencard"
"We've been looking for you, Ms. O'Neil."
"What, I'm I behind on my sony payments again?"
"We have a loyalty to the Shredder!"
"The Shredder uses you! He poisons your minds to obtain that which he desires; he cares nothing for you or the people you hurt!"
"We're a family."
"Family? Is that what you said, "family"? Wait, you call this here and that down there "family"?"
"[Raphael has brought an unconscious April O'Neil into the sewer] Are you crazy?"
"Yeah, Leo - I'm crazy, OK? A loony, OK?"
"Why? Why - Oh I don't know, 'cause I wanted to redecorate. You know, a couple of throw pillows, a TV news reporter, what do ya think?"