"That's it, I'm leaving the country. I'm moving to New Mexico."
"One time my whole family went fishing, and I was the only one that didn't puke!"
"Eeww, that's disgusting! It looks like they're trying to swallow each other's heads!"
"You can't pitch to Johnny! I'm Johnny!"
"Don't you be talkin' bout my momma!"
"AHHH! It's a mom!"
"Hey Danny! You see that water tower. One day our names will be up there in bold letters, The O'Shea Brothers! We're going to own this town, you and me buddy."
"Why do you do this to me, fellas? I cut your nails, wash you, put gloves on you when you're cold..."
"How'd I do, coach?"
"I don't know son, I don't have a sundial. Now get back in line."
"There goes my shot at the Pros. Now I have to be a senator."
"Hey Uncle Dan! Guess what? I got the whole headlock thing on tape. Here, wanna see?"
"You always run the ball! Why can't I run the ball?"
"Because you're slow, and no one likes you."
"Your mine Pom Pom!"
"What a hunk. What am I talking about? I'm the Icebox. Icebox doesn't like boys. Except for that one..."
"What's that cheerleader doing with a helmet on?"
"That's no cheerleader, that's my niece Becky, and she's pissed."
"That's right Spike. The Icebox is going to defrost you."
"God bless family, friends, flowers, Nickelodeon, fuzzy little kittens, Pez, Mr. Lerenzo, the school janitor 'cause he's so hairy."
"He's an unfortunate man Priscilla."
"Just remember, football is 80% mental and 40% physical."