Bad Santa
Release: November 21, 2003

Willie T. Stokes and Marcus are professional heistmen, that take on the Santa Claus routine for the children at a different shopping mall every year as a front for the opportunity to disable the mall security system, clean out the safe, and then flee on Christmas Eve. Willie is an alcoholic, a sex addict and is getting gradually unable to perform the Santa routine much to Marcus' dismay. This year, Willie and Marcus are hired at a mall in Phoenix, Arizona and Willie's vulgar remarks shock the prudish mall manager Bob Chipeska who brings Willie to the attention of security chief Gin Slagel. At a bar, Willie initiates a passionate love affair by charming bartender Sue, who has a Santa fetish. The two will soon work together to rob a mall with the advantage of a dumb little kid.

Trailers
Posters
Quotes
Willie: "Thank you for giving that letter to the cops. I forgot I asked you to do it, but it's a good thing you did or Santa's little helper would have plugged his ass. Now the cop's know I wrote it, whick is gonna keep my ass out of jail. That, plus everyone agreeing that the Phoenix police department shooting an unarmed Santa was even more fucked up than Rodney King."
Added By: funguy10
Marcus: "If I call you next December, IF I call you next December, you're gonna be so happy to hear from me, you're gonna do a goddamn back flip. You're gonna put that Santa hat on so fast that you're gonna get fucking hat-burn."
Added By: funguy10
Willie: "(narrating) I've been to prison once, I've been married - twice. I was once drafted by Lyndon Johnson and had to live in shit-ass Mexico for 2 1/2 years for no reason. I've had my eye socket punched in, a kidney taken out and I got a bone-chip in my ankle that's never gonna heal. I've seen some pretty shitty situations in my life, but nothing has ever sucked more ass than this!"
Added By: funguy10
Skateboard Bully: "Hey, loser. I hear your buddy's not here to protect you any more... See you got me a new bike. Thanks a lot... I'm talking to you, fat-ass!"
Added By: funguy10
Marcus: "You are by far the dumbest, most pathetic piece of maggot eatin' shit that has every slid from a human being's hairy ass."
Added By: funguy10
Willie: "Things are fucked up at the North Pole. Mrs. Claus caught me fucking her sister, now I'm out on my ass!"
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Kid: "You are really Santa, right?"
Willie: "No, I'm an accountant. I wear this fucking thing as a fashion statement, alright?"
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Willie: "I said, "Next," goddamn it! This is not the DMV!"
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Kid: "Good night, Santa. Good night, Mrs. Santa's sister."
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Willie: "You can't drink worth shit."
Marcus: "I weigh 92 pounds, you dick!"
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Willie: "Why don't you wish in one hand, and shit in the other. See which one fills up first."
Added By: funguy10
Marcus: "You're an emotional fucking cripple. Your soul is dog shit. Every single fucking thing about you is ugly."
Added By: funguy10
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