Willie:
"Thank you for giving that letter to the cops. I forgot I asked you to do it, but it's a good thing you did or Santa's little helper would have plugged his ass. Now the cop's know I wrote it, whick is gonna keep my ass out of jail. That, plus everyone agreeing that the Phoenix police department shooting an unarmed Santa was even more fucked up than Rodney King."
Marcus:
"If I call you next December, IF I call you next December, you're gonna be so happy to hear from me, you're gonna do a goddamn back flip. You're gonna put that Santa hat on so fast that you're gonna get fucking hat-burn."
Willie:
"(narrating) I've been to prison once, I've been married - twice. I was once drafted by Lyndon Johnson and had to live in shit-ass Mexico for 2 1/2 years for no reason. I've had my eye socket punched in, a kidney taken out and I got a bone-chip in my ankle that's never gonna heal. I've seen some pretty shitty situations in my life, but nothing has ever sucked more ass than this!"
Skateboard Bully:
"Hey, loser. I hear your buddy's not here to protect you any more... See you got me a new bike. Thanks a lot... I'm talking to you, fat-ass!"
Marcus:
"You are by far the dumbest, most pathetic piece of maggot eatin' shit that has every slid from a human being's hairy ass."
Willie:
"Things are fucked up at the North Pole. Mrs. Claus caught me fucking her sister, now I'm out on my ass!"
Kid:
"You are really Santa, right?"
Willie:
"No, I'm an accountant. I wear this fucking thing as a fashion statement, alright?"
Willie:
"I said, "Next," goddamn it! This is not the DMV!"
Kid:
"Good night, Santa. Good night, Mrs. Santa's sister."
Willie:
"You can't drink worth shit."
Marcus:
"I weigh 92 pounds, you dick!"
Willie:
"Why don't you wish in one hand, and shit in the other. See which one fills up first."
Marcus:
"You're an emotional fucking cripple. Your soul is dog shit. Every single fucking thing about you is ugly."
Comments
0