Enjoy this article for what it is. It was written to be fun and not to be in any way a serious commentary on some of our favorite characters.
Imagine if you will a world where MySpace came about in the 80's. Long before the Emo population took over and used this social network to vent about how hard their suburban life is. Before teenagers filled every second of their lives at home in front of the computer screen trying to fill their friend's list with as many people as possible. This would be a world where we could poke around and find some of our favorite retro movie characters and post comments like, "Hey Wayne, I saw the show last night and you totally made that arcade guy look like a weiner. Party on!" or, "Marty don't worry about the audition tomorrow. The Pinheads are awesome and I know you'll kill 'em!"
This would be a wonderful world where Marty could post photos from last weekend's trip to the lake or the last decade's Enchantment Under the Sea dance. A place where Ted could share about the most non-heinous concert he rocked at the night before. We could all pay a visit to the Wayne's World page where (even though we know Garth is the one actually using the computer) Wayne will share show times and play some of Cassandra's (schwiiiing!) tunes. This would be a great world to live in but sadly it does not exist. However, I still think if it did, the following would be good examples of some of the surveys these guys would fill out and post.
Survey #1 Date and time: October 25, 1985 10:15PM
Name: Martin Seamus McFly
What are your hobbies?
I like to play with my band the Pinheads, I do lead guitar and vocals (even though we got rejected today at the audition). I also use my skateboard a lot but mainly because I don't have a car of my own (not to mention Biff wrecked the one I do use). I also help Doc with some of his experiments.
What is your favorite band?
What is your favorite movie?
I'm not really into a lot of movies. I'd rather be listening to music. But I do like a lot of stuff with Clint Eastwood in it.
What is your favorite food?
I'll eat anything with a Tab or a Pepsi Free.
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Yes I do, Jennifer and me are going to the lake this weekend. It's gonna be amazing I just have to find a way to get there since Biff totaled the car today.
Do you love him/her?
Yes I think I do. I can see us spending the rest of our lives together. Rich and enjoying my career as a rockstar.
Do you have a best friend?
Not really, I spend most of my time with Jennifer. I do spend a lot of time hanging out with Doc Brown though. He is a bit crazy but also brilliant. I help him with his experiments and he tutors me in science. Science is way beyond my comprehension. It's too much to memorize. It's pretty heavy.
Do you get along with your parents?
I guess I do. They aren't really the coolest people around, but oh well. My dad is kind of a wuss and my mom must have been born a nun. I can't imagine a time when my parents were ever cool.
Do you drink?
Not really. Maybe a little but my mom drinks enough for the both of us.
Do you smoke?
No. My mom sure wouldn't approve of that.
If you could go back in time and change one thing what would it be?
Go back in time? That would be great, I could go back and stop myself from setting the living room rug on fire when I was 8.
What would make you happy?
That black Toyota 4x4 I saw this morning. I could lay out a couple sleeping bags in the back for when Jennifer and I go to the lake.
What makes you mad?
Being called a coward or a chicken. I go into a rage when someone questions my courage.
Where do you see yourself in 30 years?
In 2015 I see myself enjoying a life of fame and fortune. Married to Jennifer and living in the Hill Dale part of town.
Where do you see yourself tonight?
Well, I am going to meet Doc at the Twin Pines Mall tonight. He has yet another experiment to show me. Probably another failure but I'll still go to support him. So I better go get some sleep I have to meet him at 1:15.
Survey #2 Date and time: February 10, 1993 4:57PM
My 25 Confessions
1. What is your name?
Ted "Theodore" Logan
2. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
4. Do you play Sudoku?
No I play guitar. A sudoku is too hard to carry on stage.
5. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
Well I have beat death before.
6. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Sort of. My dad was totally on this kick of sending me to youth boot camps. They were the most non-non heinous places ever.
7. Favorite lyric?
Every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn, just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song...
8. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married what would you do?
If it was Missy I would totally... oh wait! Missy's my mom!
9. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
I like it either way dude!
10. Use three words to describe yourself at the moment.
Station, station, station.
11. Do any songs make you cry?
12. Are you continuing your education?
I never started it dude!
13. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Sure Billy the kid taught me.
14. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grab?
The princesses. And I guess Bill.
15. Favorite children's book?
The Cat in the Hat.
16. Favorite number?
17. If you could do it over again, start from scratch, would you?
I can and I have dude.
18. Favorite ex?
Once I asked Missy to the prom... dude I forgot again!
19. Favorite Band?
20. Where was the furthest place you traveled?
Like the 15th century or maybe it was hell... I don't know dude.
21. Do you look like your mom or dad?
I look like my dad and that's bogus cause my step-mom is cute I wish I looked more like her but still be a guy.
22. Do you know how to play poker?
I'm never playing poker again. Last time I did my head totally ended up gettig pushed through a wall.
23. Anything big ever happen in your town?
Strange things are always afoot at the Circle-K
24. Have you ever been in love?
Bill and I totally love the princesses.
25. Are you a generally happy person?
You bet dude!
Survey #3 Date and Time: July 3, 1994 5:16PM
The Most Personal Quiz, Ever, (to the untrained eye}
1. Who were you with last night?
Stan Makita's Donuts
2. What woke you up this morning?
My football phone started ringing.
3. Where are you?
Garth's room. I don't have a computer.
4. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
I will be good... oh yes. Tomorrow iw Waynestock 2
5. Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
And so much more... schwiiing!
6. When was the last time you cried?
Never! Monkey's will come flying out of my butt before I cry.
7. Ever thrown up in public?
Can't remember but Garth sure does hurl a lot.
8. Passed out because of alcohol?
Never have but I get to watch Phil do it all the time.
9. Would you take a bullet for anyone?
10. Where would you like to live?
Only here in Aurora.
11. Made out with anyone on your top 8?
13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
That is something I will never do.
14. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Getting ready for Waynestock 7 and even though it is punishment in some countries, married to Cassandra.
15. Who is your number one on your top friends?
16. Have you kissed your number one spot on your top friends?
Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?
17. Who was the last person that left you a comment?
19. Do you like candy necklaces?
Yes what a totally amazing, excellent discovery those things are.
20. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something?
Yesterday I acted like I ran into a wall and went unconscious. I just couldn't listen to Del's M&M story again.
21. Do you listen to music every day?
Like a monk prays.
22. What was the last thing you ate?
23. Are you a fast typer?
You would be surprised what these fingers could do.
24. About how many people have you liked?
Let's just start with the female cast of Melrose and go from there. Heather Locklear schwiiiiiiiiiing!
25. How many have you loved?
26. What are you doing this weekend?
Waynestock 2 and then an interview with Handsome Dan. Have you seen this guy, his face reminds me of the time Garth hurled after eating that tainted licorice rope.
27. What's Your favorite type of Pop?
I only drink Pepsi it's the choice of a new generation.
28. Have you ever won an award?
My show won an Emmy last year. And then I woke up!
29. What do you want to do right now?
Find my babelicious Cassandra
30. Are you listening to music right now?
I am always listening to music.
31. Do you have any enemies?
Benjamin Cane and Bobby Cahn.
32. What's a quote that you love?
33. How long 'til your birthday?
Just had one.
34. When were you the saddest in your whole life?
When I realized I never learned to READ!
35. What time is it?
36. Do you use EBay to buy or sell?
I sold a stupid gun rack from an ex-girlfriend.
37. What makes you mad?
Guys that try to take Cassandra. It happens a lot man.
38. Have you ever had a song written about you?
Wayne's World... hello.
39. What song makes you cry?
The theme from Ice Castle.
40. What song makes you happy?
Bohemian Rhapsody. Because it's fun watching Garth try to lip sync to a song he clearly doesn't know.
41. What do you like to listen to before you go to bed?
Anything that will prevent me from seeing a weird naked indian in my dreams.
42. Do you have a job?
Sure I guess. If you call making fun of terds on late night TV a job.
43. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
44. What's the next CD you're going to get?
Crucial Taunt's new one.
45. What makes you happy?
Now wouldn't that be a fun world to live in? Tell me of others that you would most like to see post MySpace surveys. I would do more but it is not as easy as you think and it would make this article too long. I hope you enjoyed this, I sure did.