Stacey:
"How many 'Hail Mary's' do you have to say for grabbing a priest's butt?"
Mike:
"I know the German word for constipation, which I believe is farfrompoopin."
Mike:
"As my assistant, occasionally you may need to assist me."
Stuart:
"Big 3-0, huh? It's the perfect age. You can date college girls *and* their mothers."
Mike:
"I had sex with this woman, Kevin. And she wants to get pregnant. She kidnapped 'my guys!' And she put them in the freezer!"
Kevin:
"That old story."
Carter:
"If the Deputy Mayor speaks in his office, and there are no cameras to hear, does he make a sound?"
Drew West:
"Mr. Mayor... what's your favorite sexual position?"
Mayor Winston:
"Well, that's really not any of your business. However, I hear yours is 'Man on top, woman in magazine.'"
Holly:
"I don't have the patience to ask you again. Leave me alone or I'll have you terminated."
Stuart:
"You can't fire me."
Holly:
"I meant killed."
Mike:
"Now, I don't want to hear any excuses."
Stuart:
"You sure, 'cause I've been saving the doozy. It starts out as an excuse but I end up blaming James."
Ashley:
"We shouldn't have culturally insensitive sex."
Mike:
"Anybody read this? Bingo died."
Karen:
"Ohh! Who's Bingo?"
Mike:
"Only the city's most decorated police dog."
Nikki:
"Oh, yeah, right. He pulled that drowning kid out of the reservoir."
James:
"And didn't he sniff out 10 kilos of cocaine at La Guardia?"
Mike:
"Yeah. Poor little guy didn't sleep for weeks after that."
Mike:
"There are 10 commandments. I'd like your dates to check out on at least seven of them."
Mike:
"Look at Dick Clark. Not a grey hair on his head and he's as popular now as he was...100 years ago."
Reporter:
"Mr Mayor, would you consider marching in the Gay Pride Parade this week?"
Mayor Winston:
"What, are you drunk?"
Mike:
"My grandmother thought that a homosexual was a person who slept with one person their whole life. We were gonna let it slide but she kept telling the mailman she was a homosexual."
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