The Critic
Debut: January 26, 1994
Ended: May 21, 1995

The Show Was About The Life Of American Film Critic Jay Sherman.

Elanor and Franklin Sherman: "Elanor: Franklin, my life is an endless grey corridor. Franklin: I've been there too, usually there's a midget making googly eyes at me. I call him "Mr Pickolini"."
Added By: Hamursh
Orson Welles: "Rosebud... Yes, rosebud Frozen Peas. Full of country goodness, and green Peaness. -Orson Welles"
The Critic: "It Stinks -The Critic"
Jay Sherman: "EGGS DON'T RIPEN! -Jay Sherman"
Jay Sherman: "My therapist was right, God does hate me! -Jay Sherman"
Duke Phillips: "ALL HAIL DUKE! DUKE IS LIFE! -Duke Phillips"
Duke Phillips: "I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DUKE! -Duke Phillips"
Marty Sherman: "This is worse than that time you sucker-punched Mr. Rogers! -Marty Sherman"
Jeremy: "Jay, we have a saying in Australia... well, it's not really a saying, it's a drinking song. It's about a bottle of beer and the men who loved her... and it doesn't really apply here, but my advice to you is slow down. -Jeremy"
Franklin: "I have a new girlfriend for you, son. Her name is Barbie and she lives in Mali-boo. She already has a boyfriend named Ken, but he's not much of a man, I checked. -Franklin"
Jay Sherman: "Ah, Naples. Why go to the city when you can bite the cookie that bears thy name? -Jay Sherman"
Jay: "It worked! I'm a doc! I'm a happy, sneezy doc! *yawns* I'm a sleepy, happy, sneezy doc. I'd better get to bed or I'll be a grumpy, dopey, sleepy, happy, sneezy doc. Bashful?"
Jeremy Hawke: "Jay, Los Angeles is like a big Apple, the windy city, the cradle of civilization, the red planet! No wait, that's New York, Chicago, Babylonia, and Mars"
Franklin: "I'm not wearing pants. I split my pants and now I'm not wearing pants."
Dressmaker: "We dressmakers have a very strict code, so I need to know. Do you deserve to wear virginial white? Because if you don't, you'll have to wear an off-white, what we call a 'hussy white.' So which will it be? White-white?"
Margo: " for the gloves."
Jay: "This film gets my highest out of ten."
Jay: "You are an insipid walking commercial, and your cereal turned my urine pink!"
Adolf Hitmaker: "If you want the world to love you you must be big and jolly like Santa Claus or Rush Limbaugh."
Shakleford: "I'm sorry, Master Jay, I did so want to scrub your dainties, but they somehow caught fire. Why do they burn so long?"
Jay: "On the 'Shermometer' this film rates an absolute zero!"
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