"I got a few questions for you. When you've got this confession from these two young men, do they have a lawyer present? No, because I'm their lawyer. Did you notify their parents? No, because we're their parents. So Officer, don't tell us to wait and don't tell us to sit down. Just open that damn cell and let these two boys out of there or I'm gonna tie this place up with so much litigation that YOUR GRANDCHILDREN ARE GONNA NEED LAWYERS!"
"Is he in there?"
"No. the coast is CLEEEEAAAAR!!!"
Will and Uncle Phil:
"Will: Come on Uncle Phil, you're gonna ruin my rep.
Uncle Phil: You're only 17, you don't have a rep yet."
"YOU DID WHAT?! Are you out of your horny little adolescent minds?!"
"I know I am, Dad."
"All the brothers play there hair like this, Hair on top, none on the sides (points to Uncle Phil) but I guess y'all got knida a reverse thing going on"
"Will teases me but you don't see me going yo yo homie yo"
"Hey Carlton, Do you know the french word for foreplay??? Because there is none"
"Aight, first of all Quincy, check your ego at the door"
"What do you two think your doing?"
"I was just trying to get to my room, Ty what was you doing?"
"I was trying to be in the video"
"Listen, this is my house, if you wanna be in a video go rob a liqour store"
"You ever try going to 6 fast food joints on a city bus?"
"Naw, I was saving that for prom"
"If you went down to Jazz's neighbourhood looking the way you look and talking the way you talk, you wouldn't come back walking the way you walk."
"Right choice Joyce"
"Will. While you're in training, you must stay away from fats, chocolates and women."
"Damn. I should really cancel my date with that fat chocolate woman."
Will and Carlton:
"Carlton: I hear someone in this room likes poetry, try this one on for size. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are poets, Will tell me it isn't true."
Will: I got a poem for you Carlton, try this one on for size. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jazz and I are black, but Carlton what are you?""
"The night was so hot peoples were pulling up on camels, yo check this out"
"it seems like just the other day I was wiping the tears from carltons eyes"
"it was just the other day aunt viv, I told you Jurassic park was too scary for him"
"It's about to be dissfest '91 around here, and I feel one coming"
"How much longer for the coffee Jeffery?"
"At this rate, when queen elizabeth opens for queen latefah"
"sorry I'm late we were driving behind some idiot and his flying carpet"
"Back in college, I had a professor named Matthew Langford. The man changed my life. You want to know how? He challenged me."
"To what? A pie-eating contest?"