Geraldine:
"Roseanne, we've gotta go to the hospital. Tom is hemorrhaging through the nose."
Roseanne:
"The biggest joke in America is that some man could control me."
Roseanne:
"I am not Tom Arnold's puppet!"
Roseanne:
"Are you sellin' stuff about me to The National Enquirer?"
Roseanne:
"I'm waiting for Robin Leach. He heard I led a very glamorous lifestyle."
Roseanne:
"Nothing is gonna shut me up!"
Roseanne:
"Don't you tell people not to listen to me, 'cuz that's not gonna shut me up!"
Roseanne:
"To you, this is just another show, but it's my shot!"
Roseanne:
"Hey! I'm not gonna go away! Do you understand? I'm not gonna go away!"
Producer:
"This could be a show starring John Goodman and Laurie Metcalf."
Tom:
"The hospital let you folks out on many field trips?"
Roseanne:
"It's a list of everyone I'm gonna fire when this show, my show, hits number one!"
Roseanne:
"The line makes me sound castrating, spiteful and demanding, of which I am not!"
Roseanne:
"Tom was the best buddy I ever had."
Roseanne:
"You used to say he was your soulmate, the guy version of you."
Roseanne:
"That's why you're in this dump talking to yourself."
Tom:
"Hey, Rosie, we sure can get 'em goin', can't we?"
Reporter:
"Is it true Kim Silva is pregnant?"
Roseanne:
"We were like Lucy and Desi, we were showbiz history. Course, Lucy and Desi didn't end up so hot either."
Roseanne:
"Funny thing about men who think they're fat and ugly, money and power make them real thin and good looking."