The Day I went Psycho.
A Bold Attempt to Recapture Child Hood.
Why do we come to RetroJunk?
I think we all come on different motives. Some people love watching those old TV commercials, while others enjoy chatting about the good old days in the forums. For me I like a little of all those things. This site is a great place filled with many memories and people who love to reminisce. Over the years since the sites creation, many members have come and gone. Some leaving big footprints behind while others maybe just submitted a movie quote and disappeared into RJ lore. One of these days, if time permits, really check this place out.
A Brief Explanation.
On the Motivation behind this article.
On the Motivation behind this article.
I wanted to pay homage to the writers on this site. And also of course to the great readers. Without you guys, there would be no point in writing! But I love reading articles on here. For the reason that when you read something here, your invited into somebodies past. You are there with them as they relate their past memories, and in doing so, you relive your own. As you know the writers don't get paid, compensated and certainly don't get the babes. In fact to write here is really a generous act. It takes hours to write and I have seen numerous writers get 5' and 6's on articles and still keep them coming. I say Right On. Keep the Retro Alive. So I just thought I would acknowledge your guys fantastic efforts. With a little story I refer to as;The Day I went Psycho.
Act 1 (Waking Up)
I woke up, sweaty and nauseous. The night before was horrible. Vomiting and migraines, aches and shivers. I was SICK. At what other time could you be freezing your butt off with a 105 fever? I woke up lazily, the alarm was blaring that horrible buzzing sound. I wished I wasn't so cheap and bought that clock that awoke you to the sounds of the Amazon Rain forest, or whatever. I was feeling better, but completely drained of energy. I weakly reached for my cell phone. I dialed the number to work...
WORK; How can I help you?
vkimo;I'm sick, don't think I can work today.
WORK; It's the Holidays season, we need you.
vkimo;Sorry, I can't, I feel horrible.
WORK;OK, Just make sure your in tomorrow.
*Hangs up Phone*
WORK; What a wuss!
vkimo;What a jerk!
Was I glad to get that over with. I dropped the phone and was back to sleep dreaming about flying in my PJ's quicker than you could say "Sick Day."
Act 2 (Waking Up, Again.)
I woke up on my own. The first time I slept in for months. I got up and walked towards the kitchen. The house was deadly silent. Everybody else was up and out for the day, at school or work. Poor Saps. It was weird. The place was usually buzzing with commotion. Now it was as solemn as the Sistine Chapel.
Ahhhh.... Not a soul in sight. I had the whole place to myself for the next 8 or 10 hours. I was going to eat, but my barfing episode the night before was too fresh in my memory. I stepped outside. There was a terrible storm that night. The lightning and thunder kept me up. But I liked it. It was exciting and I enjoyed the sound of the rain pit-pattering on the roof. I enjoy storms, through windows that is. As I walked outside I looked up. The sky was a dark gray. The clouds were ominous and heavy with moisture. Ready to unleash their down pour at the slightest provocation. But there was only a light mist as I peered into eternity. I could feel it right then, that today wasn't going to be your average sick day.
Well I headed back in, and really contemplated the days itinerary. I was going to wing it. Retro Style. I headed into the basement. I was looking for something. Something I hadn't looked for in many, many years. After several minutes of spelunking, I found it. Buried behind various boxes and what-not, was my junk. My RetroJunk. Actually it was kind of unsettling seeing one's entire childhood stored in a couple of plastic bins.
Act 3: Operation Retro
I took the boxes out, one by one. I popped the lids, and my breath went away.
Man, it's been along time. Since I last laid eyes on these guys. The last remnant of a once large armada of action figurines. I sat there and just looked. The room was silent. Like a Bank Vault insulated with marshmallows. As I looked I could have swore I heard faint battle cries, guns going off and men yelling heroically. I guess they carried on in my absence. Still fighting. After all, that's what I taught them to do.
I used to have made up names for these guys. But I couldn't remember any of them. I know I used to call the robot turtle, Techno-Turtle. On account of his...technicality, uhh...yeah. Here I still had Bebop, I don't know what happened to Rocksteady. I think I used my Rhino action figure from Spiderman to play that part. It's all about improvising. There also was Donatello, he could talk, but I was missing the strip that you pulled through his shell to make him squeal. I remember wanting that toy so bad. My father lost his wallet and I found it. As a result he got me Donatello. I was surprised I still had my over sized Batman wallet, Duncan Yo Yo, and SuperSoaker key chain. The ultimate survival kit.
I couldn't resist to react some of my greatest action figure battles.
A guy can dream, can't he? Imagine Spiderman chasing after the Green Goblin on a Velociraptor! Or what about about a Death match between Wolverine and Superskrull;
Superskrull; Bend to my will!
Wolverine; NO way bub.
Superskrull; You leave me no choice!
Wolverine; Bring it!
Superskrull; Take that!
Wolverine;No, take this!
Superskrull; Let's go to Arbys.
Or what about Hollywood Hulk Hogan in a steel cage match with Wolverine?
Watcha gonna do when the hulkster runs wild on YOU?
I'll admit I'm a little rusty. When it comes to staging epic bouts. But these guys saw me through alot of lonely days. After a few more minutes of tinkering with them, I put them away. Who knows when the next time they would see daylight was.
Act 4, Comic Book revival.
I looked to see what other childhood relics I had. Comic Books.
What Happened? I used to have boxes of Comics. When your young you don't realize what you have. I guess my mom must have sold them at a garage sale while I was playing Street Fighter 2. I loved reading those stories. I think they helped me even with school. All the supplementary X-Men reading really helped my English skills. I loved the smell of them, The Dry pages smelt of couch foam. They were tattered with dog eared pages and rips. The signs of a avid reader. I went through my humble collection, and Picked out a comic to read. Iron Man.
Just like old times. Me, some Cola, and my Comics. I read through the comic nostalgically. Not so much for the novelty this time. I was looking at the worn pages with the eyes of an adult. I appreciated the artwork, the story telling and the plot. I liked how they would build anticipation, and then the next page would be an Ad. Just Like TV. I also had the problem of getting really absorbed in the story and as I would read I would use my peripheral vision to look ahead. It was horrible because I didn't want to look ahead, but I couldn't help it. I ruined many suspenseful moments like that.
After reading I put the books back away. I had to reorganize some stuff to fit them back. There was this one odd noise though. Every time I shuffled the boxes around, there would be a rattling sound. Like the sounds of little things rushing back and forth. I found the source. Here it was, perhaps the greatest toys of my youth. LEGOS.
Act 5, Lego my Lego
The Greatest of All Time? Just Maybe. I took the box and emptied it out. It was almost like opening a time capsule. All of my creations were there, still intact. I'll admit, I was a Lego fanatic. I didn't have much. They were always expensive. It was always one of my greatest dreams to have a Lego "Supply Bin." In that Bin there would have been every then known Lego piece. All assorted in separate containers. I always had to innovate when building. I would have this great piece going and be one piece short. I'd look everywhere, no luck. I would have to either take a similar piece off one of my other creations or just make do. I think I even had names for the pieces. Like "2 across 2 Wide."
ABOVE; (Left to Right) 1. There's Butch and the "HelioKoptor." Butch was a no nonsense mercenary/Bounty Hunter. Equipped only with his wit and his high tech prototype Helicopter. Which included Turbo jets, Lexatonium Glass, and Heat-Seeking Plasmorockets. Very Dangerous guy. 2. Here's the last remaining photo of Rex "Dangerous" and his gal "Terrible" Tabatha. These two were serious adventure types. Always looking for trouble and treasure, preferably trouble. 3. Eco Base. The farthest outpost of my then Lego frontier. They watched the horizon for new life. 4. The Lonely Inn. This was a fabled place situated in the mountains. A place for warriors and legends to meet and weave yarns.
Of course that's all speculative. I didn't quite remember the stories behind all these things. I did know though that it was almost like a soap opera. I rattled through the box and found 2 more guys. A Knight and his Foe. One was pure and noble, while the other was evil and merciless. They were good pals! You'd always catch that drinking ale at the Lonely Inn.
Is it just me, or does the guy on the right look a little TOO evil?
After spending the better part of the morning rummaging and reminiscing, I was getting a little tired. So I packed away all my heirlooms. I still had about 7 precious hours of time to myself. What to do...What to do...Yeah, that's right, Nintendo.
Act 6, Nintendo it is.
I'm a Nintendo kid, always was, always will be.I had no need to go searching for my consoles. I know exactly where they would be. Hooked up to my TV, and ready to go. I planned it out while brushing my teeth earlier. 12 games, 3 consoles. 15 minutes for each game, that's 3 hours of gaming, minus bathroom breaks.
I wanted to do it chronologically. I busted out the NES first. I got it at a rummage sale for 5 bucks. I sat playing games like a fiend. Time was running out and I needed to feed my addiction.
No time to waste! The hour went by quicker than Speed Racer on his last lap. It was SNES time. I plugged it in, turned it on. and dropped out. I was playing like a man possessed. No way I could beat MK2 in 15 minutes!
N64 barely made the retro cut. So I indulged myself. I actually spent more time on this system as a kid than any other, except maybe the almighty Gameboy. I would spend hours roaming the beautiful courtyard in Mario64. Today I did it for 15 minutes.
After my 3 hour gaming marathon, time was slipping. I couldn't believe how quick time was flying! I felt alot better too. I figured I would just finish the day off with man's greatest pastime. Movies.
Act 7, Movie Watching.
I had about 3 hours or so left. I accomplished all I wanted to do. So for the rest of the day I just sat back and watched some of the best stuff ever conceived. Prior to 1995 that is. Oh and NO DVD's here! Only VHS or Laserdisc would do!
"It's all in the reflexes!" One of my favorite movies, Big Trouble in Little China. I laid back in my recliner and just watched happily. I love the setting of this movie and the set design. To me this was one of Kurt Russel's best roles.
"Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me?" Another favorite. Back to the Future. After I finished off BTiLC, I popped in BTTF. I knew this movie by heart, so I basically said the lines aloud as they happened on screen. Usually whenever I try to watch it everyone's like "Come on, That movie again?" But today, none of that. Just me, my recliner and Marty Mcfly.
"You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions." I actually hadn't seen The Breakfast Club till fairly recently. But I immediately liked it. A true classic. The ending was also very profound. Boy was I glad to watch this again. John Hughe's really captured the teen genre well. To this day I can't tell if I like Molly Ringwald's looks or not.
"See ya on the other side, Ray. " Well, I had time for one more movie. What better way to end such a magnificent day than with watching Ghostbusters. I wished I still had my costume though, I could have worn it. No one would have known!
Final Act, Hitting the Hay.
What a day it was. I managed to bust out the action figures, read comics, find my Lego's and play video games. Pretty damn good.
It was getting late. I was feeling better, so that meant work the next day. I sat there for awhile in bed though. Absorbing the day's events. It was a brief, rare break from the usual mayhem. I was lucky. I got to spend a day free from stress. No boss nagging at me, no bills to pay, no traffic. But the day was over. In 10 hours I'd be back in the Rat Race.
I didn't let that get to me though. I still had 8 hours of me time. I was going to spend it dreaming. In that special realm, where I could ride Yoshi and fight evil sorceress with Jack Burton. A place where I could fight side by side with the Ghostbusters or play around of Golf with Mario. A place where I could borrow Tony Stark's suit or ride his Lambor.....zzzzzzzzzzzzz.......
I would like to thank you once again for reading. RetroJunk is such a cool place to come and share memories with great people. And it's always a pleasure to write for you.
We all know the the present is a result of the past. So every once once in awhile it's nice to look back and ponder. I never forget the old things, because at one time they were the "new things." Maybe in 20 years from now I'll look back and say "Wow! I remember RJ, I wonder what happened to all the people there?"
Well, I've said all I wanted to say. If you liked reading this, give it a thumbs up, if you disliked it, give it a thumbs down. It's your choice. Well I'm done for now so I'll leave you with the Credits...
Photo Editing adviser.......................Saruman_W
Photo Editing adviser.......................Saruman_W
Everybody's looking for the next big thing. But you know what? I'm content with the stuff everyone forgot.