Red Sonja. What was it about her that grabbed my utmost attention as a young boy? I mean seriously, my crushes always came from out of the blue. I had a crush on Blossom once. I even had a crush on cartoon character cheetara. Try and figure that one out. As a teen it was Andie McDowell. But my first entertainment crush was on this barbarian chicky called Red Sonja. I dont even know much about the comic book she was based off of. I only remember crushing on her after I first saw the movie.
Maybe it was her eyes. In fact, I know it was. She had bedroom eyes. She didnt have the finest body for traveling around in a loin cloth. Or maybe she did, but the new generation of babes has me spoiled. But as a kid, I wanted Red Sonja to bring me into manhood. I wanted to gaze into her eyes and do things boys only told each other about on the playground. Even as a child I knew better than to tell anyone, I want to make it with Red Sonja.
I didnt even care about the actress. Brigitte Nielson didnt captivate me in Rocky 4. And as she grew older, dear God. Brigitte Nielson grew haggardly. It was a tragedy to see. I watched a B Rated sex film she did in the 90s called Domino. Did NOTHING for me. I even think I saw her on a reality show getting freaky with Flava Flav. What is that all about?
Theres no arguing that Brigitte Nielsons best years are far behind her. But as long as I can find Red Sonja in print, her hottest moment in time is forever captured and preserved for young boys of all generations. So heres to you Brigitte, and to Red Sonja. She made me stand at attention for the first time.