Hey everyone! This is my second submission, but I warn you, it is NOT an article...
If you were a pre-teen girl in the 90s (now they call them "tweens", whatever that means) then you probably forced your parents to buy you an issue of "Seventeen", "Teen", or my personal favorite, the long forgotten "All About YOU!"
All About YOU! was my favorite mag, especially for family vacation road trips, because of all the awesome quizzes. Does he really have a crush on you? What type of flirt are you? Do all the other girls on the team like you or secretly wish you were dead? I just had to know!!! And after answering a few short multiple choice questions, I would know. It was that simple!
Sometimes you had to add up a score and your self-realization would lie in a range of usually like 10 points. The margin of error in this process tended to be tricky. You answer one question differently and suddenly you go from being the most like Sporty Spice to being the most like BABY
spice?!?!? I don't think so!
Another method (which was also easier) was seeing if you were "mostly A's" or "mostly B's", so on. That is the formula we are going to follow today. I am going to combine the nostalgia associated with answering one of these quizzes, with the nostalgia of playing the classic arcade game, Pac-Man.
So get out your #2 pencils, you're about to find out...
WHICH PAC-MAN GHOST ARE YOU??????
Q1)You have just been asked out by the hottest ghost to ever float onto the screen!!! When he/she suggests dinner and a movie, you say:
a)"Can we just skip straight to the sex?"
b)"Sure! I know a great little place on the upper east side, near the Power-Pellet."
c)"Well, I guess...but do you mind if I bring a friend?"
d)"Perhaps you have seen my baseball"
Q2)You are sitting in Ghost School, and the teacher asks everyone to pass up their homework...but you forgot all about it!! Do you...
a)Rip out a piece of paper and start writing...anything!
b)Explain to the teacher that PacMan showed up at your house last night and you had to catch him, thus leaving you no time for studies.
c)Freak out and pull out an AK-47 and start busting off rounds on everyone in the classroom
d)You have never had any formal schooling
Q3)There is a killer party going on in the Strawberry level. You hear there may be alcohol there. What do you do?
a)Get drunk as hell! Then get drunker!
b)Attend the party with a vow to avoid the alcohol and those under the influence of it.
c)Stay at home and wish you were there
d)Sloppy Joe's are not really made from pure Joe.
Q4)The last time you remember feeling really down was:
a)You never let sad feelings catch up with you.
b)When Pac-Man unfairly went right through you as a result of a glitch in the game.
c)When all your other ghost friends were eaten by a power-pellet charged Pac-Man.
d)Skateboarding through the Niagra Falls.
Q5)What is your favorite meal?
c)Don't care too much, you usually just order what everyone else is having
d) Wood Chips with a tall glass of Paint Thinner
Q6)If you had been born a character from Mortal Kombat instead of a ghost from Pac-Man, who would you be?
a)Scorpion - a quick, sly ninja, feared by all. You would say Ermac because you like the color of his suit, but you would never be such a short-lived character.
b)Quan-Chi - intelligently uses his knowledge of sorcery for pure evil
c)Raiden - as an elder god, you wouldn't have to fight in the tournament. You like to avoid conflict.
Q7)You TOTALLY have a crush on this awesome ghost (smart, funny, charming, etc) and you told your friend all about it. The next day, you totally caught them making out! What do you say to your friend?
a)"You better run, bitch!"
b)"This could be a misunderstanding, but I could have sworn I told you how much I liked him..."
c)Nothing. You don't want to cause a scene.
d)"About the time rocks boat Arkansas"
Q8)What are your favorite characteristics in a ghost?
a)Must be able to keep up with you
b)Must work well with you, as a team
c)Must never leave your side
d)Must speak in tongues
Q9)You are eating dinner with your family at an expensive restaurant when your little brother spills your soda-pop all over everyone! You are mortified. What do you do?
a)Chase your little bro all over the restaurant, claiming to feed his googly eyes to Pac-Man Jr.
b)Take a deep breath, smile, and clean the mess quickly and effectively.
c)Act like everything is OK, but about halfway through the meal you scream and fly out of the restaurant.
d)Ask the waiter for a blow job.
Q10)How do you feel about Pac-Man?
a)I hate him and I want him dead.
b)I hate him, and I know that together we can catch the son-of-a-bitch.
c)I don't know...sometimes I'd like to kill him, sometimes I just don't think he ever did anything to deserve it.
Now, to calculate your score...
MOSTLY A's: You are Blinky!
You are quick-witted, quick on your heels, and a quick learner! Blinky will speed up as Pac-Man eats more pills, reaching top speeds when there is one dot remaining. Similarly, when the going gets tough, you keep right up with the fast pace of life. Sometimes, unfortunatley, you may get ahead of yourself, and miss the big picture. Relationship partners may have accused you of either moving too fast or eating them. If you hear this kind of complaint, chin up...You are one of the best ghosts in the game (of life!)
MOSTLY B'S: You are Pinky!
Congrats! You have proven yourself to be one smart cookie. Pinky, rather than blindly chasing Pac-Man around the maze, will choose another route to try to trap Pac-Man, watching with great pleasure as his mouth slowly expands into nothingness. This personality trait is why you have such great problem-solving skills. You have always been a team-player with your peers, and someone that can be counted on. Expect nothing less than success, Pinky!
MOSTLY C'S: You are Inky!
Inky's nickname, Bashful, is a perfect description of your personality. You often feel ashamed to act independently, and sometimes run away from difficult situations (just like Inky will sometimes take an unexpected turn right as he gets close to eating Pac-Man!) On a positive note, you sometimes will set your basfulness aside and totally go crazy. This unpredictability seems to keep your lovers guessing...especially in the bedroom!!!
MOSTLY D'S: You are Clyde.
You sorry little shit. What exactly is wrong with you? Either you don't have a passion for life whatsoever, or you're "just plain dumb" (as the cracker-barrel game would say.) Clyde is more of a help to Pac-Man than an enemy, since he can be worth up to 1600 points when eaten. No wonder he was the only character to not make it into "Ms. Pac-Man", being replaced by Sue (who, mind you, was not a whole hell of a lot better.) My only suggestion is that you get a f*#%ing clue!
I hope you enjoyed the quiz. Please let me know if you did, and I will develop more quizzes of similar foundation! Peace out homies!