Toys! Modified.

Toys that we played with as kids that could be used as adults.
January 05, 2009

There has been a lot of things from our past that have come back to life in today's times. Mostly in entertainment, but in other aspects as well. How many cartoons from the 80's are being redone now? TMNT had new life in an anime style, He-Man had a brief stint that should have kept going, Carebears Strawberry Shortcake and Rainbow Bright are coming back.

Poprocks can be found easily again, and FunDip. All our favorite comic book heroes are making it into the big screen with much enthusiasm. But there is one aspect of our childhoods that is missing in today's world that I think could do us all the most good. Toys. Let's be honest, the majority of kids toys today suck. It's all electronic or too specialized, or expensive. What happened to the cheap plastic stuff that when complimented with an imagination would provide hours of fun? Making a dinosaur walk and roar and eat stuff by, moving it? Holy crap. Not some remote control with digital sound, blah blah blah. I say if kids today aren't going to play with awesome toys, then it should be up to us adults. This article is about 5 toys we used as kids that I think could be modified to fit our adult lives

5. Wrestling Buddies
When we were kids, these things were great to beat on. I would practice my wrestling moves and be a superstar in my own living room. But we're a bit too old to be punching on little dolls now, aren't we? Or are we. The modification. You have one of these dolls that you can beat on, but you can put a personalized face on it. My boss, I think would be the most common answer. Think about it. How would you like to have your own "boss wrestling buddy" to beat up on when you got home? Had to work late for the fourth time this week? Give it the surf board. That bastard keeps riding you for no reason? Put him in the rack. How great would it be to get our aggression out that way? "No vacation this year huh? Well Mr. Snoodlebottom, take this rabbit punch, rabbit punch, into a pile driver. Yes it's, the pile driver!" Yes it's childish, but that's the point of toys, to be a kid again. Imagine yourself, imagining yourself beating up your "boss wrestling buddy" next time you're getting chewed out.

4. Real Fashion Barbie's
Ladies, I'm trying here, if this idea is lame, I apologize. The idea here is to have an exact duplicate of yourself in doll form. My aunt showed me a Barbie a long time ago. If you spun one of her arms, her boobs would get bigger. I'm not making this up. You could buy a Barbie with exact to-scale sizes of human forms. If your body changes, you can make adjustments on the doll as well. If you grow an inch taller, or get pregnant, let's say. Then for mere pennies a month, you could belong to different stores or catalogs. Each month, the designer would give you mini clothes made the exact same way they would be found in the store. Same material and stitching, everything. Then you could try on all sorts of different outfits on the doll, and essentially see how you would look in those outfits. The companies would barely charge you for the little clothes, if anything at all, in hopes that you will buy the actual items. This would work just as well for guys, but if the majority of men reading this are like me, then you aren't much of a shopper. Just trying to think of you ladies, if this idea is stupid, please don't slam me too hard in the comments.

3. Mood Shirts
Kind of a combination from mood rings, and those shirts that would change color when you got hot. This would be an entire set of clothing designed to tell people what kind of mood you're in. I'm thinking this would be most useful at the bar. See that girl's shirt turn a dark blue buddy? That means she doesn't want you talking to her anymore. You look at someone and your shirt gets pink spikes all over it? You are horny. I am personally not so good at reading the subtle, and sometimes not so subtle clues of body language. Why can't we make it easier? Let your clothes tell me what I am clearly missing in your eyes. The guy next to you drinking whiskey has a shirt that is pitch black; he's ready for some aggression. Either back off or get that guy some Pucker to cool down.

2. View Finders
As I child, I loved looking through these things to see different pictures of the world. Why not have a travel addition for adults? This would need a lot of cooperation from airlines and hotels and such, but this could be a neat idea. I suppose this could also be done with a computer, but this would be way more fun. Let's say you're looking for a vacation that is within the $500-$1000 range. Simply get pictures of places for your viewfinder within that price. It could work like a package deal. The entire roll would be places with hotels included for a set price. Or let's say you want to travel to Africa, or on a cruise, anything is possible with this idea. My favorite would be remote places. Places in the world that you have never even heard of, but you see one spectacular picture and you know you must travel there. There would be a number you could call and book your trip. "Yes, I'd like vacation trip number 7 from South American Trips under $2000." It could be that easy, and all from a toy!

1. The Big Wheel
Alright, this one doesn't serve as much of a purpose as my other ideas but I don't care. Not a day goes by that I don't wish that I still had a big wheel. Do I need transportation? No. They are just so much fun! Bottom line, toys are meant for fun and I think an adult version Big Wheel would be a blast. Of course it would need a metal frame, well for me at least. Hard plastic isn't going to keep this butt from dragging on the ground. But it is absolutely essential that the tires stay hard plastic. I know there are some bikes that are relatives of the Big Wheel, but the most important part is the plastic wheels. And you have to have the pedals attached to the wheel itself, no gears or anything. The best part of having a big wheel was blazing down the road at mach 5 and breaking to see how many 360's you can do. Think how sweet these could be. Kind of like choppers with individual paint jobs and frame styles. Many Big Wheels had hand breaks too. Think of all the different shapes you could be jerking up for all to see as you stop to a screeching halt. I see Yogi Bear waving hi to everyone, but again, customize your own. You just try and not get laid after you pick up your date in your Big Wheel. Not enough leg room honey? Let me just take the seat out and pop it back into a different set of holes. I'm telling you this is a great idea.

"Great ideas Tom!"
Thanks Tick.

I wrote this article mostly for fun, but perhaps there's something to this as well. Maybe not one of these ideas, but someone out there might get a better idea, or has the resources to get these off the ground. I am not joking about sincerely wanting an adult Big Wheel. I know these are a reality but they could be so much cooler. Someone should steal this idea and make it themselves, go ahead. I get my customized Yogi Bear hand break for free though.
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