Mad Hatter:
"Not hare there, hair there!
-Mad Hatter"
Red Queen White Rabit:
"Maybe the Duchess is better than I am after all.' 'Your majesty, don't say that! A lot of people are better than you but certinly not the duchess.
-Red Queen White Rabit"
Cheshire Cat:
"Bunny, you keep me in stitches
-Cheshire Cat"
Alice:
"Maybe you should hire someone for a few days while Mr. Rabbit is gone.
-Alice"
The White Rabbit:
"How do you keep an elephant from charging? Take away his credit card!"
The Caterpillar:
"Imagine the humiliation: A caterpillar with butterflies in his stomach."
MAD HATTER:
"For your information Alice, this is a stately, stone statue; a carefully crafted carving; a magnificent, monolithic, modern, masterpiece."
MARCH HARE:
"Amazingly awesome alliteration!"
ALICE:
"So, you're stuck with it, huh?"
MAD HATTER:
"You got that right."
ALICE:
"Hi, Mr. Hatter. What are you watching?"
MAD HATTER:
"Just a little Hat TV."
ALICE:
"There's one channel just about hats?"
MAD HATTER:
"Yes, isn't it incredible? You'd think there'd be at least three or four!"
TWEEDLE DEE:
"Now we'll do some lifting."
MAD HATTER:
"No thanks, I've already done some lifting today."
TWEEDLE DUM:
"No offense Hatter, but lifting the cookie jar doesn't count."
MARCH HARE:
"What's your secret ingredient?"
MAD HATTER:
"I have no idea, that's why it's a secret."
ALICE:
"Now, I don't mean to sound critical, but how many things are you two gonna' goof up in ONE day?"
MAD HATTER:
"Hmm... Is that a trick question?"
RED QUEEN:
"Tell me Dum, how did you find your salad?"
TWEEDLE DUM:
"I just looked down at my salad plate and there it was?"
Alice:
"What's the bad news?"
The Mad Hatter:
"Can't you see, Alice? In sure it's written all over my face?"
The March Hare:
"No. It looks like you washed it off."
Hatter:
"Oh. Well then, let me explain."
RED QUEEN:
"You know, sometimes old things are better than new ones, flaws and all."
MAD HATTER:
"Exactly. Why, we'd rather have our old Queen than a young one any day!"
Tweedle-Dum:
"Well. I guess we were being really unfair."
The White Rabbit:
"Uh. Can you ever forgive us, Mr. Walrus?"
Mr. Walrus:
"Well, of course. Of course! No hard feelings! And I don't think you've ever heard this about walrus, but we never hold a grudge!"
The March Hare:
"That's okay. Now that we're friends, we'll hold it for you."
MAD HATTER:
"You took the words right out of my mouth."
MARCH HARE (looks in Hatter's mouth):
"She sure did, I don't see them anywhere."
RED QUEEN:
"Do you notice anything new about me?"
WHITE RABBIT:
"Is it your hair?"
RED QUEEN:
"No, it's not my hair!"
WHITE RABBIT:
"It's not? You mean that's a wig? It looks so real!"
The Red Queen:
"Now. The shoe is on the other foot!"
The March Hare:
"I know. I got dressed in a hurry this morning."
RED QUEEN:
"Dear me, you are in a pretty pickle aren't you?"
MAD HATTER:
"Your majesty, this is no time to talk about cucumbers preserved in a solution of brine and vinegar, I've got big troubles here!"