Dad Louie:
"Dad:Hey, this is my lawn! Who rakes it? Who mows it? Louie: *I* do. Dad: Who asked you?"
Dad :
"Hey Grunewald, ever hear of a doorbell?"
Grunewald:
"I don't wanna wake everybody up."
Dad:
"[doorbell rings] If that's another one of them salesman, I'm gonna..."
Mom:
"You're gonna what? "
Dad:
"Uh... Invite them in for dessert."
Louie Anderson:
"[narrating] The Anderson name has been dragged through the mud, and I was just the man to hose it off."
Dad:
"That's right, I want that apology in writing. In triplicate. Got it? No wait a minute, make it three copies."
Mrs. Stillman:
"Mrs. Stillman: [Insulted] Well, I'll come back later Louie when you're not so *crowded*."
Dad:
"Computers. Ha ha. There's a real growth industry. A passing fad if I ever heard one."
Louie:
"I'm supposed to be your caddy *and* carry your clubs?"
Motorist Dad:
"Motorist: Yo, I'll give you $50 for it. Dad: How'd you like to eat this house? Rafter by rafter, nail by nail, limb from limb!"
Dad:
"My boy is as American as those French fries you're eating."
Dad:
"Louie! Check the Santa. Make sure it's grounded!"
Louie:
"Make sure you're grounded!"
Dad:
"I heard that!"
Dad:
"[Listening to radio] Aw good it's a fishing show. Ah! It's a Christmas show disguised as a fishing show. Wouldn't you know it there's a Santa on the boat. "
Louie:
"[sarcastically] Now there's Christmas spirit."
Dad:
"I heard that!"
Dad:
"Dad: Hey Louie! It's a scheduled holiday, kid! It's Paint the Garage Day!"
Louie:
"[about the Christmas tree] Dad! It's crooked!"
Dad:
"Put it by the TV. No one will notice. For 35 bucks that tree should dance!"
Louie:
"To Lou, best friends forever "Big G". Big G? "
Glen Glen:
"Yep! That's me Big G, you can be little G if you like."
Glen Glen:
"What are you a peeping LOU?!"
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