The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.
Debut: January 01, 1993
Ended: January 01, 1994

A hundred years ago, a young lawyer by the name of Brisco County, Jr. (Bruce Campbell) decides to trade his briefs in for bullets when he receives word that his father, a renowned U.S. Marshall, has been gunned down by the evil Bly gang. Now employed by the robber barons of the Westerfield Club, he makes his living as a bounty hunter, scouring the old West for clues that will finally lead him to avenge his father…with a little help from his friends of course. There’s James Lonefeather- better known as Lord Bowler (Julius Carry)- a seasoned hunter/tracker, not to mention army deserter. He may be in it for the penny, but he’s an ally to be proud of, pound for pound. The beautiful Dixie Cousins (Kelly Rutherford), a lady of the night none too proud of her distinguished clientele, ready to give up the lifestyle for but the right three words from Brisco. Socrates Poole (Christian Clemenson) is his liaison to the East, constantly trying to give himself over to the less logical albeit more romantic ways of the West. The Professor (John Astin of Addams Family fame) is a scientist whose ideas are ahead of their time, and whose inventions get the group into and out of more trouble than he’d care to admit. And who could forget Comet. Only the most trusty steed for our hero. The horse that can warn of impending danger, untie ropes with his teeth, leap from rooftop to rooftop, and talk…but only to Brisco. With memorable villains like Pete and his beloved piece, Frenchy Bearpaux, and Billy Bly! Despite the show’s dark, vengeful foundation, Brisco’s positive outlook and constant search for a better tomorrow gave the strong spaghetti overtones a life all their own. A classic tale of good, evil, and the power it would take to cross the line.

Brisco County, Jr.: "If I was going to kill you, I'd be stepping over your body right now on my way out the door."
Pete Hutter: "You touched my piece. NOBODY touches my piece!"
Brisco County, Jr.: "You gotta excuse Comet. He still doesn't realize he's a horse."
Dixie: "Brisco, put me down!"
Brisco: "All right, you look bad in a wig and you were too easy to find."
Brisco: "You wouldn't be dumb enough to shoot me with all those soldiers out there, would you Bill?"
Phil Swill: "I'm Phil. He's Bill. And I just might be dumber than you think."
Brisco: "Yeah, but a convention isn't a bad idea. You just need the right group of people."
Brisco, Lord Bowler, and Socrates (simultaneously): "Dentists!"
Olaf Brackman: "Where are you from, Utah Johnny Montana?"
Johnny's Assistant: "He's from Idaho!"
Bowler: "It's gonna take more than one well-intentioned ex-lawyer to round up Blackbeard LaCutte and his gang."
Brisco: "You wouldn't be offering to help, would ya?"
Bowler: "Maybe. You offering me a reward?"
Brisco: "I'm not in this for the money, Bowler."
Bowler: "Then we got a deal."
Bowler: "Give it up Brisco. Nobody gets out of quicksand."
Brisco: "What makes you so sure?"
Bowler: "You know anybody who fell into quicksand?"
Brisco: "No."
Bowler: "Need I say more?"
Brisco: "How's it going, Hatchet? Miss me?"
Hatchet: "By a couple of inches..."
Brisco: "Okay, Bowler. Attack! Attack! Attack! (Bowler starts losing quickly)"
Brisco: "Retreat! Retreat! Retreat!"
Socrates Poole: "I think we need a new strategy."
Iphigenia Poole: "Shouldn't we be doing something?"
Brisco: "Randolph's gonna be 50 feet down. What do you want me to do, go out there, and wrestle him in some underwater life and death struggle? Me desperate for air and him behind glass - smiling in an oxygen-rich environment? No thanks! I'll wait until they get back on shore; then I'll get Randolph and the plates."
Iphigenia Poole: "...seems sort of anti-climactic..."
Ellie: "Nice form. (After Brisco tosses darts at a target)"
Brisco: "Ah, throwing darts is easy."
Ellie: "Who said anything about darts?"
Bowler: "Help, Brisco, I can't swim!"
Brisco: "Try standin' up!"
Bowler: "What happened to Grave's End? Who put a dang lake here?"
Brisco: "Dam."
Bowler: "All right, damn lake."
Professor Albert Wickwire: "This is a momentous day, gentlemen - I've never field-tested this before."
Pete: "What?"
Professor Albert Wickwire: "Nope! Never deeper than a water trough. That plumb line we dropped over showed over 60 feet of water. That's two atmospheres of pressure. This should be very interesting."
Jack: "(who can't hear anything) What's he saying?"
Pete: "(smiling) He thinks you're gonna drown!"
Brisco: "Correct me if I'm wrong, Pete; weren't you killed in a gunfight?"
Pete: "I was only gut shot. I healed. I'm stronger now with less appetite."
Professor Albert Wickwire: "Now that seemed to work quite well."
Brisco: "Yeah, but there's still two of them out there."
Professor Albert Wickwire: "I'm thinking of something that could be quite effective. I need some fishing line, coat hanger, soap, and some cheese."
Brisco: "Cheese?"
Professor Albert Wickwire: "I'm hungry."
Professor Coles: "That's a completely fictitious title, I presume?"
Lord Bowler: "No--I just made it up"
Bowler: "Maybe you got a little more respect for ol' Lord Bowler now."
Brisco: "Well, certainly among all the active bounty hunters out there, you're the best singer."
Bowler: "That's true."
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