M*A*S*H
Debut: January 01, 1972
Ended: January 01, 1983
Debut: January 01, 1972
Ended: January 01, 1983

The 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital is stuck in the middle of the Korean war. With little help from the circumstances they find themselves in, they are forced to make their own fun. Fond of practical jokes and revenge, the doctors, nurses, administrators, and soldiers often find ways of making wartime life bearable. Nevertheless, the war goes on, and over time, friends are lost and new ones gained. This show has several interesting trivia facts: -The series lasted 11 years, while the actual Korean War was only 3. -Almost 125 million people in the USA watched the final episode, at that time the largest audience ever for a television program. -Klinger's attempt to be thrown out of the army by wearing women's clothing was inspired by the comedian Lenny Bruce, who similarly attempted to win his way home from active service by dressing up as a WAVE (female officer). -During filming for the final episode, a brush fire broke out and destroyed much of the ranch set. Since the show was coming to an end, it was decided that rebuilding the set would be unnecessarily expensive, and the fire was written into the story by having the North Koreans set off incendiary devices and start a brush fire.

Intros
Credits
Posters
Quotes
Frank: "Men detest me, don't they?"
Radar: "Oh, no, sir."
Frank: "Come on, you can be honest. They hate me, don't they?"
Radar: "Just your guts, sir."
Frank: "Well, this is for their own good. They don't have to like me."
Radar: "I'm sure they'll be happy to hear that, Major."
Frank: "Don't stand here talking to me. Go to sleep!"
Radar: "I can do both at the same time."
Frank (angered): "Good night, Corporal."
Radar (scurrying off): "Good night, uh, sir."
Added By: System
Frank: "Major Houlihan! This really cuts me to the quick!"
Hawkeye (drunk): "Oh, that's quite alright. His quick could use some cutting."
Added By: System
Hawkeye: "You take eleven stringbeans, an onion, half a radish, and four banamas."
Trapper: "You mix it all up and you let it soak for fourteen weeks."
Hawkeye: "Days."
Trapper: "Days."
Margaret: "Maybe you should write this down."
Hawkeye: "Then you look around and you find the tallest tree. Then you hang the stuff in an emena bag. And you leave it there for seven weeks."
Trapper: "Days."
Hawkeye: "Right."
Added By: System
Hawkeye: "You've got 'Field & Stream' mixed in with my 'Joys of Nudity.'"
Trapper: "Big deal."
Hawkeye: "I'd rather see a naked girl than a canoe built in a dentist's garage."
Trapper: "Always a shot, always a needle. Mr. Glib. Never at a loss for words."
Hawkeye: "Run up an alley and holler a fish."
Trapper: "Clever. Very clever. (cuts himself shaving)"
Hawkeye: "'Field & Stream?' How do you read this stuff?"
Trapper: "Hey, I'm so bored over here, I'm re-reading my draft notices."
Hawkeye: "'How to Wrap a Grizzly Bear for Mailing.' (throws it on the ground) 'Popular Mechanics?'"
Trapper: "Save that. I'm learning how to make a lamp out of a lawnmower."
Added By: System
Trapper: "You know somethin'? You're a slob. A slob. A real slob!"
Hawkeye: "I'm a slob?"
Trapper: "Yeah."
Hawkeye: "Whose toenails are always under my bed with nobody in 'em?"
Trapper: "They jump when I cut 'em."
Hawkeye: "Point your feet out the door."
Added By: System
Frank: "Have you ever given a lecture about temperance, Father? About the evils of drink?"
Father Mulcahy: "Uh, no. On the troop ship, I was once asked to do one about the sex thing."
Frank: "Oh, good."
Father Mulcahy: "Being celibate, I didn't feel qualified. They brought in a Protestant. He had a film about two sailors. One was from Cleveland ostensibly, the other a small rural area. The city boy stayed on the ship and wrote his high-school sweetheart. A lovely young girl with a megaphone on her chest."
Frank: "Father, this is a bit different."
Father Mulcahy: "The country boy lived in a trailer with three other young ladies and a man with a whip."
Frank: "Father?"
Father Mulcahy: "Broke his wristwatch and everything."
Added By: System
Margaret: "Frank, what a turnout."
Frank: "Lemmings must be directed to the sea."
Margaret: "You're magical with a phrase."
Frank: "Winston Churchill once said, 'Men could move mountains with words.'"
Margaret: "His mother was American, you know."
Frank: "So was mine."
Added By: System
(to Hawkeye): "You stop talking about her..."
(to Margaret): "you stop hating her..."
(to Father Mulcahy): "and you stop DATING her!!!!"
Added By: System
Hawkeye: "Go mail a bear."
Added By: System
Father Mulcahy: "Please don't rise."
Added By: System
PA System: "Attention! Due to circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today."
Added By: System
Hawkeye: "I will not carry a gun... I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even hari-kari if you show me how, but I will NOT carry a gun!"
Added By: System
Margaret: "That is so beneath me!"
Hawkeye: "I was hoping for that position myself."
Added By: System
Frank: "I'm here to relieve you."
Hawkeye: "You do resemble an enema."
Added By: System
Father Mulcahy: "When the doctors cut into a patient, and it's cold, you know...the way it is now, today,... steam rises from the body... and the doctor will... (hesitates) ...will warm himself over the open wound. Could anyone look on that and not feel changed?"
Added By: System
BJ: "I did three amputations before I had my first breakfast here."
Added By: System
Interviewer: "Do you see anything good coming out of this?"
Potter: "Not a damn thing."
Added By: System
Interviewer: "Is there anything from home that you brought over with you to set up for yourself? Creature comforts?"
Hawkeye: "I brought a book over."
Interviewer: "What book?"
Hawkeye: "The dictionary. I figure it's got all the other books in it. I like to read the dictionary."
Added By: System
Hawkeye: "(presenting new nurses with a care package) ..and shampoo."
BJ: "(interrupting) Because we couldn't find any real poo."
Added By: System
Winchester: "I'm so conservative I make you look like a "New Dealer". (Speaking to the investigator alleging Houlihan's communist ties)"
Added By: System
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