Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th
Release: October 17, 2000
Trailers
Trailer for this horror spoof.
Posters
Quotes
PA:
"[voice-over] May I have your attention for the results of yesterday's pregnancy tests. Susan Savinski: negative. Melissa Blake: positive. Jonathan Whiner: negative."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Mr. Lowelle:
"Hello gang, welcome to Sex Education. If you aren't registered for this course or are a Southern Baptist, you're in the wrong room."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Maitre'D:
"Do you have a reservation sir?"
Dawson:
"Dawson."
Maitre'D:
"Party of five?"
Dawson:
"Wrong network!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Nurse:
"...and that's how I knew I wasn't a lesbian!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Nurse:
"Sex can be a beautiful, sensual experience between a man and a woman who truly love each other and want to spend eternity together laying in each other's gentle embrace. Or it can be a dirty, filthy spank-fest in a bus station restroom shared by two anonymous consenting adults on a layover in Detroit and no one ever need know!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Doughy:
"Hagatha. Now that's a beautiful name."
Hagatha:
"Thanks. My friends call me Hag."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Doughy:
"Hagatha. Now that's a beautiful name."
Hagatha:
"Thanks. My friends call me Hag."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Boner:
"Hey guys, I have an idea! Let's all make a pact to lose our virginity before graduation!"
Doughy:
"I'm in!"
Barbara, Slab, Dawson, Martina:
"WE'RE NOT!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Barbara:
"What are you doing here anyway, Doughy? You're not a real cop. Shouldn't you be guarding the Orange Julius?"
Boner:
"[fake coughing] N.Y.P.D. GAP!"
Slab:
"[fake coughing] Sergeant Sears!"
Barbara:
"[fake coughing] Food court police!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Barbara:
"Well, at least I feel safe here. Hi Chuckie!"
Chuckie:
"Wanna play?"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Martina:
"Did you hear the news? About Screw. She was killed. Murdered. Gutted. Flayed. Sliced. Diced. Fried. And hung."
Boner:
"I'm never gonna get laid."
Martina:
"Oh, and it's all over the TV news."
Boner:
"Oh, great! Now everybody knows."
Added By: Clint_Olson
PA:
"[voice-over] Attention students, the fight between the Bloods and the Crips is postponed until next Friday. Refreshments and a lovely dance will follow."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Screw:
"[call waiting beeps] Is that yours or mine?"
Killer:
"Ignore it. I have voice mail."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Martina:
"All right, listen. There are certain rules that you have to follow in a parody situation if you want to survive. Rule number one: exaggerate everything. Number 88: accept the ridiculous as logical."
Martina:
"[flash to Boner getting down with a girl] Sexual sight gags, always funny. [Boner making sex noises while pulling out a splinter] And along with wacky sound effects... [Boner unzipping his pants with a "boing!" sound] And unlimited absurdity. [Killer frightens Boner into a heart attack with a chainsaw] Remember: nothing is sacred. [cross falls onto bed]"
Dawson:
"You're forgetting, point out the obvious. [holds up a "dead man" sign pointing to Slab]"
Martina:
"And finally, perpetually painful stereotypes."
Pimp:
"Dat's ridikkulous!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Martina:
"Didn't your whole family get chopped up and fed to a fish farm?"
Dawson:
"Allegedly."
Added By: Clint_Olson
School PA:
"[voice-over] Good morning students. Cheerleader tryouts will be held today after school in the gym. You must be 18 and comfortable with partial nudity."
Added By: Clint_Olson
Killer:
"Do you think this stalking stuff is easy? [a splashing sound is heard]"
Screw:
"Did you just fall in my pool?"
Added By: Clint_Olson
Killer:
"Do you like scary movies?"
Screw:
"Oh. What, you mean like Spike Lee movies?"
Killer:
"Look, lay off the Spikester! He's keeping it real!"
Added By: Clint_Olson
PA:
"[voice-over] Would the following students please report to the Principal's office: Jack Mehoff, Mike Hunt, Lou Zer, and Heywood Jablomee."
Added By: Clint_Olson
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