Clarissa:
"Damn! You sank my battleshit!"
Extreme Sports Punk:
"Dude, on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being not so extreme and 10 being extremely extreme, I give this a 9.5!"
Harold:
"Are those my scissors? Dude, I trim my nose hair with those!"
Kumar:
"Dude, I've been cutting my ass hair with them for the past six months."
Goldstein:
"This movie makes no sense. She's possessed, she's not possessed... that rack had better be stacked. OH! TITS! Those aren't real. Yes, they are!"
Freakshow:
"It's gonna take me a while to fix up your car there, so if you boys like, you can go on inside, get yourselves something to drink, wash up, fuck my wife, watch TV - anything you want. Mi casa es su casa. Just don't do anything the Good Lord wouldn't do."
Male Nurse:
"Soft, chocolate lips..."
Harold:
"Dude, where's my car?"
Kumar:
"Where's his car, dude?"
Burger Shack Employee:
"Ding-dong! May I interject for a second? As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that if you're craving White Castle, the burgers here just don't cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one... just makes me want to burn this motherfucker down."
Harold:
"So what are you in here for?"
Tarik:
"For being black."
Harold:
"Seriously?"
Tarik:
"I am serious. You wanna know what happened? I was walking out of a Barnes & Noble, and a cop stops me. Evidently, a black guy robbed a store in Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." So he starts beating me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest."
Harold:
"Did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?"
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