Watto:
"Any questions?"
John Bender:
"Yeah, I got a question. Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?"
Tom Tucker as Imperial Newscaster:
"What's the weather like, Ollie?"
Ollie Williams as Imperial Meteorologist:
"SPACE WEATHER!"
Herbert (Obi-Wan Kenobi):
"Get your fat space ass back here!"
Ellen Griswold:
"Clark, I don't like the look of this neighborhood."
Clark Griswold:
"Come on, Ellen, it's important for the kids to witness the plight of the rebellion. Kids, you noticing all this plight? [X-Wing fighter near them gets destroyed] Roll 'em up!"
Mouse Droid #1:
"Holy shit!"
Peter (Han Solo):
"I'm Han Solo, captain of the Millenium Falcon, and the only actor whose career isn't destroyed by this movie."
Cleveland (R2-D2):
"[Sees a hooded figure kneel before Luke and put a hand on his forehead] Who are you?"
Herbert (Obi-Wan Kenobi):
"[Pulls back his hood to reveal Herbert the pedophile] One lucky son-of-a-bitch!"
Peter (Han Solo):
"Look - a lightsaber cheese knife!"
Chris (Luke Skywalker):
"So you got your reward and you're just leaving then?"
Peter (Han Solo):
"Well you put it that way, I sound like a douche, but yeah."
Quagmire (C-3PO):
"Hey, thanks for the sex, early 90's printer."
Stormtrooper #1:
"What was that?"
Stormtrooper "RJ":
"Probably just another drill. You know what happened during the last drill? I was about to finally bone my girlfriend, but then we heard there was this drill, and she said there was no way."
Lois (Princess Leia):
"Aren't you a little fat to be a stormtrooper?"
Chris (Luke Skywalker):
"Well, stay here and rot, you stuck-up bitch."
Lois (Princess Leia):
"Wait, who are you?"
Chris (Luke Skywalker):
"I'm Luke Skywalker. Me and Han Solo and Obi-Wan are here to rescue you."
Lois (Princess Leia):
"Wait, Obi-Wan Kenobi?"
Chris (Luke Skywalker):
"Yeah! Suddenly I'm not so fat, huh?"
Peter (Han Solo):
"[Han has installed the couch in the Falcon's cockpit] See how much more comfortable we are shooting stuff!"
Mouse Droid #1:
"You ain't gonna believe what just I just seen."
Mouse Droid #2:
"Tyra Banks?"
Mouse Droid #1:
"See, now you've said something better, so my thing don't sound cool no more."
Mouse Droid #2:
"Oh! Come on, what'd you see?"
Mouse Droid #1:
"I don't remember. I just was thinking about Tyra Banks."
Mouse Droid #2:
"Can you imagine?"
Mouse Droid #1:
"Every night! Don't shake my hand."
Mouse Droid #2:
"You ain't got no hand! You're a little truck."
Stewie (Darth Vader):
"My God, look at this mess! 'Hey, Darth Vader's gonna be here, shall we clean the place up?' 'No, It's okay. he won't mind.'"
Chris (Luke Skywalker):
"They're coming too fast!"
Peter (Han Solo):
"A nickel for every time I had that problem."
Peter (Han Solo):
"We'll be safe enough once we make the jump to hyperspace. Besides, I know a few maneuvers. We'll lose'em. [the Falcon starts listing lazily to the left]"
Chris (Luke Skywalker):
"Uh, that was your maneuver? Moving slightly to the left?"
Peter (Han Solo):
"Well, I mean we're not in the same place we were, huh? That ought to confuse'em."
Chris (Luke Skywalker):
"Yeah, but you hardly did anything. You just started listing lazily to the left. I'm pretty sure they can keep up."
Imperial Officer #1:
"Where did they go?"
Imperial Officer #2:
"There they are! They're listing lazily to the left. Go left, left!"
Imperial Officer #1:
"Boy, this guy knows some maneuvers."
Imperial Officer #1:
"Hold your fire. There's no life forms aboard."
Imperial Officer #2:
"Hold your fire? What, are we paying by the laser now?"
Imperial Officer #1:
"You don't do the budget, Terry. I do."
Dr. Rumack:
"[appears behind Han] I just want to tell you both, good luck! We're all counting on you."
Cleveland (R2-D2):
"You still got that bag I gave you?"