Ricky Bobby:
"That there is trademarked, not to be used without written permission of Ricky Bobby, Inc."
Ricky Bobby:
"Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence."
Reese Bobby:
"Hey shut up you little pot-licker I'll stick you in a microwave"
Carl Naughton Jr.:
" I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!"
Ricky Bobby:
"(TV Commercial) Hey. I'm Ricky Bobby. When you're workin' on your mysterious lady parts and stuff, you should have the right tools too. That's why you should use... MayPax. The official tampon of NASCAR."
PA Annoucner:
"Ladies and gentlemen, that is a new track record. As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting on the pole, which is a statement of fact, and is in no way a comment on the driver's sexual orientation."
Ricky Bobby:
"(TV commercial) Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then f-*bleep* you"
Ricky Bobby:
"This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons."
Ricky Bobby:
"Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!"
Cal Naughton Jr.:
"I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party."
Ricky Bobby:
"Well let me just quote the late-great Colonel Sanders, who said..."I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.""
Ricky Bobby:
"You sick sons of bitches. I mean you walk in that door, on your two legs... all fat and cocky and lookin' at me in my chair. And you tell me its all in my head? I hope that both of you have sons... Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt."
Lucius Washington:
"Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! Don't you put that on us! You are NOT paralyzed!"
Ricky Bobby:
"Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces... newborn infant Jesus, don't even know a word yet."
Ricky Bobby:
"If you ain't first, you're last."
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