"(To Jake) You're gonna look pretty funny trying to eat corn on the cob WITH NO FUCKING TEETH!"
"(To Jake) You gonna stop us, Stein? Ha!"
"(To Jake) Well, suppose we ain't got no union cards and go in there and start playin' anyway? What'cha gonna do about that?"
"Your union cards. May I see your cards, please?"
"(To Tucker) "My name is Jacob Stein. I'm from the American Federation Of Music. I've been sent to see if you gentlemen are carrying your permits"."
"So what kinda music do the bands usually play here?"
"Oh they play both kinds! they play Country AND Western!"
Reverend Cleophus James:
"And God Bless the United States Of America!"
"Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips!"
Head Nazi's Sidekick:
"(To him as their car descends)"
""Do you guys know 'Minnie The Moocher'"?"
"I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola."
"State County Municipal Offender Data Systems!"
Burton Mercer (John Candy):
"Hi! Wanna hand me the mike? Thanks a lot. Hi this is car um...what number are we?"
"FIVE - FIVE"
"This is car fifty five..we're in a truck!"
Joliet Jake Blues:
"Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ yes I see the light
-Joliet Jake Blues"
rev. clephous James:
"do you see the light?
-rev. clephous James"
"they broke my watch
Sister Mary Stigmata:
"Get out! And don't come back... until you've redeemed yourselves!
-Sister Mary Stigmata"
"I must now kill you... and your brother!
"No, I didn't. Honest… I ran out of gas. I… I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake; A terrible flood."
"You can't lie to a nun. We got to go in and visit the penguin."
"We're on a Mission from God