National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Release: December 01, 1989
Release: December 01, 1989

The third installment of the National Lampoon's Vacation series is about Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) going out on a limb to give his family a good old fashioned family Christmas. From digging a giant Christmas tree out of the ground to covering the entire house with Christmas lights, he goes all out to impress his family, in-laws, and even uninvited guest Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) who brings his trailer and family along. From exploding turkeys, a squirrel attack, and even a visit from the SWAT team, it provides holiday humor for everyone.

Todd: "Griswold! Where are you gonna put a tree that big?"
Clark: "Bend over and I'll show you!"
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Russ: "Dad, that thing will never fit in our front yard."
Clark: "It's not going in our yard, it's going in our living room!"
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Clark: "Fixed the newel post!"
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Margot: "And why is the carpet all wet, TODD!?"
Todd: "I don't KNOW, Margot!"
Clark: "(2x) Merry Christmas. (3x) Kiss my ass. Happy Chanukah."
Clark: "Aunt Bethany, would you say the grace?"
Aunt Bethany: "Grace? Didn't she pass away 30 years ago?"
Uncle Lewis: "He wants you to say the grace. (he pauses) The blessing!!"
Cousin Eddie: "If you don't mind Clark, I would like to see if I can fumigate this here chair. It's a good quality item. If you don't mind. I ask how much it'll set you back."
Clark: "You smell something?"
Cousin Eddie: "Fried pussycat."
Margo: "(Police knock on Margo's door) Todd if you want to come back into this house you gotta break down that goddamn door!(the police break her door in)"
Eddie: "I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic."
Clark: "Do you really think it matters, Eddie?"
Ellen: "Clark, Audrey's frozen from the waist down."
Clark: "That's all part of the experience, honey."
Ruby Sue: "Rocky bit my thumb. Him's nervous."
Clark: "Nervous or excited?"
Ruby Sue: "Shittin' bricks."
Clark: "You shouldn't use that word."
Ruby Sue: "Sorry. Shittin' rocks"
Bethany: "Don't throw me down, Clark."
Clark: "I'll try not to, Aunt Bethany..."
Ellen: "What are you looking at?"
Clark: "Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer... [Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet]"
Eddie: "Shitter was full."
Clark: "Ah, yeah. You checked our shitters, honey?"
Ellen: "Clark, please. He doesn't know any better."
Clark: "He oughta know it's illegal. That's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within ten yards of it."
Uncle Lewis: "Hey Grizz, Bethany and I figured out the perfect gift for you."
Clark: "Aw, you didn't have to get me anything."
Uncle Lewis: "Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it."
Clark: "'Tis the season to be merry."
Mary: "That's my name."
Clark: "No shit."
Clark: "Well, I'm gonna park the cars and get the luggage, and, well, I'll be outside for the season."
Aunt Bethany: "Is your house on fire, Clark?"
Clark: "No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights."
Clark: "We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols."
Audrey: "We're not coming all the way out here just to get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it are we?"
Clark: "No, I have one of those at home."
Todd: "Well, something had to come through the window! Something had to break the stereo!"
Margo: "And why is the carpet all wet, *Todd*?"
Todd: "I don't *know*, Margo!"
Ellen: "I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery."
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