Cannon Movie Tales: The Emperor's New Clothes
Release: January 01, 1987
Release: January 01, 1987

In Europe several several centuries ago, a group of prisoners about to be executed are freed as part of the celebration of the upcoming marriage of the emperor's daughter, Princess Gilda, to a very rich prince from another country. Among these newly free men are an uncle-and-nephew con artist team, who continue their usual work to the point where they end up in the emperor's own palace, posing as tailors. Taking advantage of the emperor's extreme love for new and newer clothing as a symbol of his wealth, the fake tailors get him to hire them to make clothes (in time for the wedding) that are invisible to all who are either unfit for their position, or very stupid. Of course, they wouldn't make anything at all, but instead steal all of the material (many jewels) and leave the emperor and all the people thinking that they are unfit or stupid.

The Emperor: "But I, as Emperor, was OVERPOWERINGLY stupid... I, as Emperor, was more stupid than you all, because I was responsible for all this stupidity! -The Emperor"
Wenceslas: "[singing] With such a handsome robe to sit in, anyone could rule Great Britain! -Wenceslas"
The Emperor: "Why does everyone argue with me? I'm the Emperor! -The Emperor"
The Emperor: "I don't want to blind them, I just want them to blink a little. -The Emperor"
Henry Dispenser: "[singing] Don't call it a crime, call it an adventure! Don't call me a cheat, call me an explorer, off on a journey, out of the rut we're in! -Henry Dispenser"
Henry Dispenser: "We are weavers of distinction, Your Majesty. -Henry Dispenser"
The Emperor Henry Dispenser: "Would the pants have two legs?' 'How many would Your Majesty like?'Five! Then when you're walking around, you can go jumping from leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg to leg... -The Emperor Henry Dispenser"
The Emperor Henry Dispenser: "E: How do you spin a thread out of a solid diamond? HD: Ah! That is a family secret! -The Emperor Henry Dispenser"
The Emperor: "I think this will be very good for the kingdom. It will weed out all those people who try to bluff their way through life. -The Emperor"
Prime Minister Emperor: "'The marriage contract has already been agreed.' 'They better have a lotta money. And I mean, a lotta money!' 'Unfortunately, they have.' 'No, I mean a LOTTA money! And I wanna count it!' -Prime Minister Emperor"
The Emperor: "You don't have to baloney me any more, Wenceslas. -The Emperor"
The Emperor Princess Gilda: "'We'll have your wedding dress made out of the same material.' 'No!' -The Emperor Princess Gilda"
The Emperor Duke Prime Minister: "E: It's diamond thread! Diamond makes a spectrum, and blue and red make... D: Uh... reddy-blue? PM: Uh... bluey-red? E: Blue and red make PURPLE! -The Emperor Duke Prime Minister"
The Emperor: "Blue? Red? There's only one way to settle this. I'll have to see the cloth myself. -The Emperor"
Duke: "I can't see a thing. I AM unfit for my office. My wife was absolutely right! -Duke"
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