The Road to Wellville
Release: October 28, 1994
Release: October 28, 1994

A madcap portrayal of William Lightbody's stay at the health farm run by cereal king Dr. John Harvey Kellogg. William's wife, Eleanor, has persuaded him to go to Kellogg to have his system cleaned of impurities. Kellogg is very unconventional, and almost barbaric in his treatments.

William Lightbody: "You were masturbating!"
Dr. Lionel Badger: "I was not! I was massaging my colon!"
William Lightbody: "I know what the colon is, sir, and it does not stick up into the air!"
Virginia Cranehill: "Marriage is just legalized prostitution, my dear."
Goodloe Bender: "Health! The 'open sesame' to the sucker's purse!"
Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: "Build up your resolve, not your genitals!"
Eleanor Lightbody: "I wanted to be more than a hole in the mattress that answers to a name."
Ida Muntz: "Do you masticate, Mr. Lightbody?"
Endymion Hart-Jones: "The enemas take some getting used to, but, in time, you'll learn to look forward to them like an old friend with a cold nose."
Charles Ossining: "With friends like you, who needs enemas?"
Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: "An erection is a flagpole on your grave."
Charles: "You hooked me like a fish, Bender. You scaled me, you gutted me, you stuffed me and fried me, chewed me up, swallowed me, and shat me out again!"
Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: "My own stools, Sir, are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit."
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