Rodrick Heffley:
"What did I tell you would happen if you ever went in my room again?"
Rowley Jefferson:
"But your band is still playing."
Rodrick Heffley:
"It's the bass solo, Turd Burglar! Don't you know anything about music? Now, I came up here to get a new drumstick, and now, Greg, since Mom and Dad are gone, I'm going to kill you. Literally, kill you!"
Rowley Jefferson:
"I told you."
Rodrick Heffley:
"Beat it."
Rowley Jefferson:
"Okay, but I just want to say one thing! Run, Greg, run!"
Rodrick Heffley:
"What? Let go, Baby Hippo!"
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Patty Farrell:
"Make your move!"
Greg Heffley:
"She's a girl! Where do I grab her?"
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Chirag Gupta:
"Not good!"
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Fregley:
"Hey, guys, wanna see my secret freckle?"
Greg Heffley:
"Fregley. Sent home for hygiene issues at least once a month."
Fregley:
"Check it out. It's got a hair in it!"
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Rowley Jefferson:
"Geronimo!"
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Greg Heffley:
"Like today, I heard someone in the hallway say that Bryce Anderson has a cute butt. What does that even mean?"
Rowley Jefferson:
"A butt can't be cute. It's a butt."
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Greg Heffley:
"Okay, first of all, let me get something straight. This is a journal, not a diary. Yeah, I know what it says on the cover. But when my mom went out to buy this thing, I specifically told her not to buy one that said "diary" on it. This just proves Mom doesn't understand anything about kids my age."
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