Dirty Work
Release: June 12, 1998

Shortly after leaving the "Weekend Update" anchor slot on Saturday Night Live, Norm Macdonald resurfaced in this comedy about smart-aleck Mitch Weaver who teams with buddy Sam McKenna (Artie Lange of Mad TV). They open a revenge-for-hire business (Dirty Work Inc.) in order to raise $50,000 so Sam's father (Jack Warden) can get a heart transplant. After they bring down a dictatorial movie theater manager (Don Rickles), they next hire prostitutes to pose as dead bodies during an auto dealer's live TV commercial. Millionaire real-estate developer Travis Cole (Christopher McDonald) is bothered when Mitch and Sam interfere with his plan to wipe a woman's home out of existence. Cole hires Dirty Work to trash a building, so he can have it condemned. However, Cole doesn't own the building, and problems arise, mainly since the grandmother of Mitch's girlfriend lives in the building. The feud escalates. Cameos by Chevy Chase, the late Chris Farley, former child star Gary Coleman, Adam Sandler, and John Goodman.

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Mitch: "Note to self"
Mitch: "Okay, Cole. Well, it's been nice doing business with you. Now you probably want to go home and kick back and enjoy a nice, tall, cold glass of chihuahua piss or something."
Kathy: "So... Would you like to come in for some coffee?"
Mitch: "No no. Uh, I can't. I have to lift weights? What?"
Mitch: "There's two kinds of people in this world - Those who get stomped on and those who do the stomping."
Kathy: "Where'd you come up with that theory?"
Mitch: "That famous guy said it. What's his name? Uh... Oh, yeah. Jesus!"
Mitch: "Note to self"
Mitch: "Sam, are you pissing off the side of the building?"
Sam: "Sorta."
Mitch: "Oh, my God! It's a picture of you and my mom! And you're having sex!"
Mitch: "Okay, settle down, prostitutes. Now, understand that you each get twenty dollars, and this requires no sex, no sex at all, regardless of what this character tells you."
Mr. Hamilton: "So there you are, tubby. Look like a bucket of lard on a bad day. You baby gorilla. Why don't you work in a zoo, and stop bothering people? Got a call yesterday from Baskin Robbins. They said that they're down to only five flavors. You're swelling up as I talk to you."
Jimmy: "And there's the Saigon whore that bit my nose off!"
Mitch: "I've never seen so many dead hookers in all my life!"
Bystander: "Lord knows I have."
Mitch: "Good news, Mr. McKenna!"
Pops: "All right, boys! Bring on the whore!"
Mitch: "No, it's not a whore - we're gonna get you the fifty thousand dollars for your heart transplant!"
Pops: "Well, that's good too."
Dr. Farthing: "I know there's really nobody to blame for this but myself, well, I don't know, maybe the Buffalo Bills, the Boston Red Sox, or Mr. T or, or the Jets..."
Mitch: "Wait a minute, Mr T.? Are you telling me that you bet on the fight in Rocky III, and that you bet against Rocky?"
Dr. Farthing: "Hindsight is twenty-twenty, my friend."
Pops: "I'm in whore heaven!"
Mitch: "You fellas have a lot of growing up to do, I'll tell you that. Ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. Can you believe these characters? Way out of line. Way out of line. Have a good mind to go to the warden about this. You know what hurts the most is the... the lack of respect. You know? That's what hurts the most. Except for the... Except for the other thing. That hurts the most. But the lack of respect hurts the second most."
Mitch: "Are those prostitutes? I mean, who are those girls?"
Mitch: "Note to self"
Kathy: "You guys are brothers?"
Mitch: "Well, it's a long story..."
Sam: "My dad boned his mom."
Mitch: "Okay, it's a short story."
Mitch: "Hey, hey! Hey, you remember in 5th grade when I was under the monkey bars and I sneaked a peek at your sister's underwear? Remember that? Hey, no no! I was sneaking a peek at my *own* sister's underwear!"
Sam: "That's right! Yeah, and then remember in the 12th grade, you had sex with her?"
Mitch: "Dr. Farthing, what happened to your arm?"
Dr. Farthing: "Well, it was either from sleeping on it the wrong way or bookmakers throwing me out of a speeding car."
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